I've spent the entire day sitting in front of the T.V. as probably has the rest of India. And I am emotionally drained and paralyzed. And helpless.

I do NOT understand how Mr. Advani, head of the opposition, has not failed to turn today's dastardly and horrific acts of terrorism into "how this is worse than what happened during our regime".

Actually, I can. WHICH is what upsets me more than anything.

What kind of a country is this? This country which so proudly beats its chest and asks for the world to notice her coming out, can allow for it's policemen to go into a combat situation without ANY sort of specialized equipment. THIS when the terrorists are carrying on them not only AK-47s and rocket launchers but also hi tech satellite equipment.

ATS Chief Hemant Karkare and more than fifteen other policemen lost their lives today. It is the ATT and the NSG and the local Mumbai police force along with the media who have spent the entire twenty four odd hours since the first blasts AT the site. Not a single member of the state government was found anywhere around these places. Not at the hospitals, not at the hotels. Tomorrow however they will come out to applaud the "spirit of Mumbai" and continue to question why the army men are giving the ration they are given and why they are paid so much.

Over 150 people would have lost their lives before the day ends. Scores others are lying in hospitals across the city, hurt. Each of the 1.1 billion people of this country are not only hurt too, but also angry.

I HATE that we have become a country that is run by politicians who are only worried about the "next election". I HATE that we do not have the decency and caliber to honor and immortalize these soldiers of ours. I HATE that twenty odd "boys" can hold a nation as large as ours at gun point.

I HATE that everyone will forget this happened and how ill prepared we are as a country, until something like this happens again in four months time.

I do NOT know what I can do to change things as yet. But I swear, I'm going to figure it out.

I just noticed. I go "sad sad" and "nice nice". How weird is that?

I suck at writing in active voice, so if I ever do start writing a book, it's never getting done.

The new song here, "All I want for christmas"- me loves it. It's super cheesy and all that. But I do.

Whose Line Is It Anyway is back on TV!!! All hail Star World.

It's tough to decide whether I like photos of people better or nature. Black and whites or color. People, on most days.

I'm an aunt six times over. Or actually according to Joey, three times an uncle and three times an aunt.

India is SO going to win the match.

It's really weird introducing myself by my name. I've been "pk" for half my life.

How come we Indian kids don't get "find yourself" time?

How is it possible to go from being deliriously happy one minute to being terribly depressed the next? Ugh.

I'm out of things to say.

"Peace".

I was just recalling how the exam I wrote on Friday went.

It was so hilarious.

Half the class went to the bathroom, one after the other, in the first forty five minutes after starting the exam.

More than half the class (thus including people who visited the loo and those who didn't) got up and went to get themselves a drink of water during the exam.

Almost everyone sharpened each pencil that was in their pencil boxes at least 4 times- it was a programming paper, did I mention?

Some people also ended up punching numbers into the calculators they were carrying to verify if the multiplication tables they'd been taught were right.

And yes, I spent the little time left, cataloging this information.

On a totally different note, sometimes all you need to right your world are your bestest friends in the whole wide world on the phone with you.

Oh and for those of you who are wondering, I am NOT christian. I love Christmas time though. And thanks to my stay in Mumbai, I've even been an actual angel in the midnight mass plays. Yes, an angel. Will wonders ever cease, eh?

I absolutely loved working on this template. Adobe Photoshop rocks. The base template isn't mine, but I've tweaked with it alot to get what I liked best. There's also an option that allows you to stop the carols from playing near the Santa who is strumming his guitar- for you Scrooges. If you have a special request, make it, I'll see what I can do.

Until then, be good and be happy.

All my love.

If you were to ever pick up Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, I'd recommend that you don't do so when you were in the middle of exams. I FINALLY read the book. And I gotta say, I liked it.

I can't say if I'd have liked the book had I not seen Bride and Prejudice (which this is based on). Maybe I would have, maybe I wouldn't have. I think I would have, except I'd have read it more slowly. I didn't know that the movie was actually the book, so I actually couldn't put the book down until I'd finished it and couldn't wait to see what was going to happen on the next page.

Austen starts the book with, "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife" and it'd be really really hard to contradict her, even in today's world.

Each of the five sisters has her own "thing". The eldest sister Jane is the beauty but more of the quite and gracious type and yet emotionally strong as you come to learn. Elizabeth the female protagonist is her fathers favorite, lively and full of wit. The famous Mr. Darcy is disgustingly rich, intelligent and an introvert. The fact that his role was played by Martin Henderson in the movie, only helped imagine his "handsomeness" more vividly. I love the father's laconic style which only brings to light the flair for drama that his wife has.

It's almost a typical love story. What made me read on were the characters. First you wanted to know how the two met, then there's the whole falling in love that is to happen which is to catch them unawares and lastly you want to know who makes the first move and how. If Lizzy actually apologies. How Darcy reacts to her playfulness even after they've married. William Collins ( a cousin who wanted to marry Elizabeth but was turned down and married her best friend instead), Lady Catherine (Darcy's widowed aunt who has her own plans for Darcy) Charles Bingley (Darcy's best friend and Jane's love) and his evil sisters, only add liveliness to the book and make it more interesting.

Anyway, if you haven't read it, do so now. If you aren't too found of English Lit you mightn't enjoy the writing style too much, so I'd suggest you watch the movie first (Bollywood or Hollywood, they're both good)- that way you can just skip through some descriptive pages and not loose the plot.

And if you HAVE read it, do so again!

All my love.

There was this huge massive big part of me that wanted to get into an IIM. NOT because of the name and the money and all that, but because I wanted to be motivated, inspired and taught. Three things that I can get from other places too- yes, Stanford and all are just waiting for me :D

With CAT out of the way, I'm just relieved. Instead of having worked for it and denying myself a lot things along the way just so I could get this, I would have done a whole lot better if I'd just walked in and written the exam. It was THAT weird. Math sucked, as I knew it would. English and DI were good. The IIMs sadly want you to have brilliantly in everything.

I know I should be sad, but all I can think of right now is how much more lighter I feel. There wasn't pressure at home, there was only pressure I'd put on myself. Anyhoo, with that out of the way, I'm all energized to work on my other options. I actually went and celebrated by stuffing myself with the best sizzlers on ze planet.

Hope you guys have been good because guess whose coming to town!! *hiccup*

Yes, a little drunk.

All my love.

So,

First: I fall asleep with my contacts on because I hadn't slept much last night and was ill.

Second: I didn't even know I'd done (First) until two hours after having woken up, I rub my eyes to find something on my hand.

Third: I finally realize what had happened, dig into my other eye to find the other lens, turn up with nothing.

Fourth: I DO find it after an hour, but it had dried up. And because it was due to be replaced, tore.

Five: After five minutes of contact lens tearing, my only pair of spectacles snap into two. Just like that.

An exam-like thing tomorrow, nothing to see with, and they weren't reading glasses so I'm practically blind.

Me thinks bad things are to happen. And this is how I won't be able to see them happen. Unless of course these bad things plan to stick themselves in my face.

Can't wait!