I wanted to write something funny, something that would have you falling off your chair. That would threaten to split your sides. So that you'd know, that you deserve all the happiness in the world. I tried, I really did.

I wanted to write something nice. Something sweet, something naughty. So that you'd feel that funny thing, like your heart was expanding until it filled your chest. So that you'd believe.

I wanted to tell everyone about how special you are. I wanted to sit and write about each and every moment I've spent with you. No matter what we were doing, or not doing. To inscribe onto my memory, each moment. Each smile. Each happy tear. Because, you are. Special, that is.

It doesn't matter how we met, and it seems insignificant that we live in different states, countries. While you and I go way back to when we were kids in two plaits, you- I've just made acquaintance with. For the old- it's a damn miracle we're still what we were, and then some, for the new- mwahahaa.

That was my evil laugh, by the by.

Anyway, to each of you who drops by- you're all special to me. Some of you, I've grown up with, while you others have been more fortunate. In your own crazy ways, you've endeared yourselves to me. I might meet you in person someday, I might not, but your memory shall not fade. I mean, if I can remember you when I'm 86, I can remember you till my death bed.

I Just wanted to say, you're special and good and smart and much loved.

And that I'll be gone for a week, so have a blessed time!!

All my love.

Friendship is a very very funny concept.

Probably the funniest thing I've ever encountered. And you should know how many funny things I've come across.

It makes you and it breaks you. For one instant you believe you could be anything you wanted to be. That you could do anything, achieve anything. Dreams come true, anything is possible if you just believe, yada yada. And in the very next (yeah, that was a long instant) you doubt everything you knew you were, even.

You fight over the most monstrous issues, you pull hair, yell, promise revenge and then get over it and your bond is stronger than ever. And just when you think you've somehow done something right in your life to have gotten this lucky, you fight over the most trivial of matters and let go.

It's the oddest feeling in the world, not feeling. It's kinda nice too. Blank mind and infinite possibilities, you should try it.

Who would have thought, that old age would bring out the violence in me! By nature I'm a pacifist, a peace loving person. I'm all for second chances and all that. Maybe it's all the free time in my hands or the state of the world around me, I'm thinking encounters may be the way after all.

From the movie at least, Shootout At Lokhandwala, the encounter which is much talked about? Is just the killing of 6 gundas. They were gundas- there is no doubt about that. The police had actually proof. So, then what if they were killed? But of course the courts might have settled on a lesser punishment, given that they did kill only about a few hundred people every three months.

No civilians were killed, and seriously- do you think if these people had actually been handcuffed and thrown in jail they'd be "hanged until death" or given life imprisonment? They'd be out in two days. And that's taking into consideration the laziness which is imbibed in us.

Yes, "they didn't get a chance to change" and no,"then let's just do away with the whole judicial system"- let's not. But unless there s a someone amongst us who is willing to risk his hinny and actually make these changes in the system, this is what we're going to have to do.

Then, what's the difference between us and them, you may ask? None. I can't justify myself for actually thinking that what the police did then was right, and I don't really wish to. What I do know is that we ourselves are responsible for the scenario that has been put in front of me.

At each level whether in the judicial system, or the educational system or any other system there's corruption. The reason for that is that we're uneducated and poor. So, there you go. Actually I'm thinking maybe the encounters won't be necessary. The way we're going, we should wipe out ourselves before the middle of this century.

On other news, so that you actually give in to the urge to jump in joy, Karunanidhi asks the police to not harass the people of the state. The state finally makes helmets and seat belts compulsory, 2-3 years after each and every state in the country has already done it, and the CM asks the police to harass his people.

All my love.

As humans, we're a filthy race. I'd rather be called all sorts of animal, than a human being. We're lower than the dirt that sticks to a snake s belly. Far lower than that.

Against every instinct of self preservation I picked up today s newspaper. For the 1500091 st time, I was disappointed. Again. This time, it was an article on child abuse. These abusers even have fancy names and abbreviations- TSO s. Travelling Sex Offenders.

There's also CSA s and Bastards, and Filth- Of- The- Earth. And other s too, I'm only too much of a lady to write any of them down. But believe you me, the names are all in my head. One for each of the 400,000 children that are abused each year. One for each and every piece of shit that does it, and each and every piece of shit that lets it happen- if you aren't already burning in hell, you will. Soon.

The best part of the article was where we boast of how paedophile s from countries like Thailand and Sri Lanka are "deflecting" towards India, 'cuz of the laxity of the laws here. Oh Joy!

What pisses me off to no end is the fact that we know this is happening, we even- in a LOT of cases- know WHERE it is happening and HOW; but guess what? We do nothing 'cuz there aint no laws about this in our constitution. In fact, the word paedophile is non existent. Though I find a few hours of dreamless sleep every 2nd night of the week, because I know that there are a few bills pending in the parliament on this issue. Double joy!

Damn all this corruption, and damn all that that we call "humane". Damn each and every one of the filth that runs this country and any other countrys', that is so bleddy busy in satisfying the people and the organisations that helped get them into power, that they stamp and tread on the most innocent of the world.

I'd damn all the people at the lower level who are weak enough to give into such forces, but I can't. This is where I damn the fact that we aren't just robots, and actually have feelings.

A time will come when all this will end. A time will come when all this filth will get exactly what they deserve. Anything built on such a foundation, will have to fall down. And even if I single handedly have to bring it down, I will. Fact of the matter is, I'm not going down until I drag as many people with me as possible.