But I don't get why people are searching for it. Being it is possibly the simplest thing ever. Being it, not getting it. If happiness (y or i) were something you could get, it would by default mean, that it were also something you could lose. When you "get" it, you entity-fy it. It's a thing now. No longer a feeling, an abstract noun. Which is not what happiness (y or i) (from now on, every time you read happiness, read the "y or i" with it, until you are told to not do so) is.
Say, it is an entity- that will go on to mean that you get it from some place or some person and you lose it to some person or at some place. Two people/ things participate in this relationship, thus establishing a dependency. This dualism, is in my opinion, why there's very few people who ARE actually happy.
I'm no saint. I haven't given up materialistic things. I still derive joy from small things. But this fleeting feeling of pleasure or pain is not what I refer to as happiness. Happiness is a sense of being, to me. It is something that I am. It isn't something that I'm looking for from another person. It isn't something that depends on whether it rains today or not. Or on whether or not I receive an unexpected call. It is something that runs in my blood. So much so that, it makes me feel lighter. A bigger person. At peace. Free of entrapment.
I'm probably making little sense, as usual. But I'll take an example.
Most people of my generation, have already been through a multitude of love- relationships by the time they get to my age. I've been through one. It lasted a couple of months only for a varied number of reasons. Point was, for the first time in my life I was head over heals in love- butterflies-in-the-stomach, when-you're-holding-me-you-drown-out-the-crowd, smile-stuck-on-face-love.. When it came to an end, for a lot of time, there was no emotion. Which gave way to a total loss of self. Which in turn faded into this gut wrenching pain that just refused to go away.
What I kept questioning was how come I was suffering so much when "being in love" is supposed to be one of the best things people ever experience. How come I'd given up smiling, let alone living. Introspection lead to the realization that for some reason I had been denying the fact that I was/ had been in love. I'd been trying to convince myself that it had just been something I'd had to go through. Blocking thoughts. That the guy in concern, was just somebody. I'd get over him. It.
Question was/is, how do you get over something you won't even acknowledge? Enlightenment didn't come to me under no tree. But come it did. I was in love. Where was I going denying it? Loving someone did not entail being loved in return. Loving someone did not entail well, anything. Loving someone, was just, loving someone. Being in love.
When it had to go, it would go. If it wasn't meant to go, then it wouldn't. With him, I've known what are the best days of my life, so far. I've actually gotten "love letters". I've smiled and still do at the barest thought of this person. I've gotten up with the biggest of smiles on my face for weeks. I've felt the tingle, the butterflies. I felt gorgeous every time he called me that. It's been three years, and I still feel the same when I think of him.
It's all still there. So deep rooted, that there IS no point trying to deny it. When I give myself up to these pleasures, these feelings, I am free. I am no longer bound with the need to reject, get over, cry or worry. I am no longer bound. I just am.
Being in love is just who I am now. It's not something I can surgically remove. It's not a thing. It's not an entity. It's just me.
I understand that maybe this wasn't "it". He wasn't "the one". I understand that there will be better times. But until then, why deny myself? Why try to go against what I'm feeling? Why question? Why judge. Why not "just be"? This isn't an exam I have to work for!!
Which brings me to the point of putting you through these excruciating details- just like love, happiness just is. You are happiness. However, you won't realize it, feel it, experience it until you've shaken off the chains that bind you. The conditions you've set. The dualism you bring in only strengthens the mental prison.
Happiness in knowledge. It's knowing yourself. Like when you fall in love- the other person doesn't complete you in the way you think he or she does. You weren't "half" before they came along. You just didn't know alot about the person you are. Being with this person lets you get in touch with you. Be more of you. THAT is the completeness you feel.
Happiness is when you stop looking for "it" in things or people. It's something that you carry in yourself. A state of being you will achieve, only when you know yourself. A place in which things happen because they happen. Nothing you can do or could have done can change things. The outcome of an event has no bearing on you. It's a state of innocence that is free of the "I".
It's a sense of celebration that comes from the freedom of being you!
Simple.
boss? chakkar kya hai?
Why?
No like?
SG.
omg i love this.
you're absolutely right. once you stop thinking about what you want and how it should be and what it should give you, life becomes a lot happier! because you never get what you want, though when you don't look for it, it may just be a whole lot better!
No.
Happiness is a warm gun.
Kaushik
P.S. Bang bang, shoot shoot.
this aint fair...
after a long time i decided to write and this is exactly what i was going to write about!!
love what you wrote :)
Happiness comes and goes. It is like spells of rains. I haven't ever been in a state where I have remained happy forever. It's just like climbing on a crowded local train marked happiness and being forced to get down when the pressures life get to difficult to cope with. This blog gives me the feeling that you have seen the movie, but just in case you haven't, you must watch "The Pursuit of Happyness"
@astro: Thank you. I like what I came up with too. Which doesn't happen all that often.
@koze: Yes, it is. Same difference. Except what you're using is lay mans language.
@ay: Lol, sorry for stealing your thunder. Thank you. I like it too.
@ill: That's where you're wrong. I've got the combined weight of what at least a few dozen people carry, on my shoulders. But still, deep down, in my soul, I'm happy.
Sure, there are things that pain me. I do get upset. I do get angry. But inherently, I AM happy.
And anyone can feel this. All they have to know is themselves. I know the reasons why the pressures that exist, do exist. If I wanted, I could shake them off. But fact is, i want to deal with them not hide them in some closet so that they can come back to haunt me.
I'm probably just not saying it right, but I know what i'm talking about.
Thanks for dropping by you guys,
All my love.
Perhaps knowing thyself too well is a reason for discontentment.
Oh and I saw the movie, and I'm probably the only person in the world to say this, but it was just ok.
To answer your question, no. That can never be it. However, when I say "know", I also mean to imply, acceptance.
And when I say acceptance, I don't mean to say put your hands in your lap and sit now that you've figured out you have killing tendencies, or whatever.
What I mean is stop denying it. Because until you do that, you can't even hope to overcome it, if overcoming it is what you should be doing.
Make any sense?
sg.
K.
Read my blog. There is a new post there for reading.
Kaushik
Hi.. first time here.. don't know whether I should comment here or stick to the Shoutbox...
But you have a lovely blog... your posts have different shades.. you are one thing one day.. and another thing another day... but what remains true and constant is the omnipresent 'All my love'....
And a meaningful post this one... Read this in Shantaram: Happiness is a myth.. it was invented to make us buy things..
Happiness(y or i) isn't anything discrete... or even relative... It can be a state of mind.. a state of existence... an entity.. an emotion... or a passing thought... or maybe a myth even...
Just as there are no absolutes in this world... there is not point entity-fying or even emoti-fying happiness....
The bottomline is that you are either happy or otherwise.. its a binary thing.. 0 or 1... over a period of time.. sometimes a lifetime...
I loved the part about the other person completing you... lovely words there...
Makes so much sense...
I'll try to keep visiting this place often.. maybe read through the last 3 years of your writing..
Till then.. continue this wonderful quest...
Enjoy and take care...
P.S.: Can I blogroll you..?
@koze: I already did. Jezus.
@suspended: Are you sure, you're talking about my blog?
And if you're really really sure you're talking about this blog, then thank you. I'm more than flattered. I don't think anyone has ever paid me a better compliment.
And of course you can add me to your blogroll.
Hope to see more of you!
Thanks for dropping by guys,
All my love.