Over the years, I've tried in many ways to show you how good you are. How much you are loved. How many you inspire. How many you smiles you spread. I say tried, because on some occasions I doubt I have convinced you fully. I do hope that while your mind might tell you one thing in these occasions of doubt, you will know deep down in your soul, the truth.
No one knows the power of words as well as I do. And try as hard as I might, there are times when I have let you down. And there is nothing much I can do on hind sight but apologize. I hate liars, and consequently lying to myself. It takes time for me to find the real reasons, the right words to say what I need to- which is why as soon as I find them, I write. Which is also why some times I stumble. It does not mean I am weak in any way or changing sides to please the powers that be. In explaining to the other what I have understood of me and my actions, I am not making excuses or hiding.
You have a strong personality, and I have no doubt that some day you will be a force unto yourself. I envy you that. It is said, and wisely at that, that with great power comes great responsibility. That the secret to a good relationship, to being a successful leader, to well, being pretty much good at anything- you need to be a good listener. To act like a sponge. Look objectively at facts, process them, and then announce your verdict. Like not everything is forgivable, every wrong isn't worthy of a death sentence. Sometimes all you need to do for the accused is find him a psychiatrist.
Even while this milestone may imply a parting of ways, I cannot but help await with eagerness to see you grow stronger, more beautiful and smarter. I also cannot help the tiny twinge of uneasiness that accompanies these feelings, the dark monster that rears its head(s) at times- the fear of you being hurt, the need to protect and just hold you close, to protect you from the ugliness. I however, quell these teeny weeny doubts with just as much ease, for I know I have taught you all that I can and know. And now I must just let you be.
Test your boundaries but don't ever do anything that you'd want to hide from people. Let your hair down, discover yourself, but one baby step at a time. Always always trust and believe in yourself.
And know, that you are loved. Forever.
All my love.
(Written on 5/21/2009)
That was great advice straight from the heart. I presume B is your sister.
I try :)
Thanks!
SG.
B is me?
Now why would you think that?
SG.