This is not a shot at anyone in particular, it's just the way I think. I am not trying to, well let's just say I don't understand how this works. This whole... making fun thing.
It wasn't long ago... I think all through the last year... till June, I think, I considered myself a cynic. It was the "realistic" way of looking at things. Things happened. People died. People left. Life turned up side down. Left to right. And all around. And I turned from being a cynic about the world to being a cynic/realist about me. And me only.
Why I decided to do so? About the world? For reasons I can't put my finger on, my fingers and my toes on, I did it. It's pretty simple. It's not THAT simple. There's no logic. I can't fight your reasons, no matter how harsh they seem. I think it comes down to the fact that I'm not a harsh person.
I think it's a useless waste of emotion. Tell me, why you would rather not give a beggar some money rather than give it to him? Don't give me all the hogwash about encouraging them and all the "what good will it do to them" hokum. Because that's what it is, balderdash.
I'm not talking "make poverty history". I'm talking about simply helping a person in need. Why is it such a hard concept to absorb? Which part of helping, simply because the person at the other end needs it, is so hard to understand?
It's not the fact that you might be encouraging them, that is stopping you. It's the whole "giving up" factor. Which is even more pathetic. Please explain to me, how an old man with a broken leg and hand, with nothing on him other than the rags he's currently wearing, will you encourage by giving me a few coins? The only thing it'll do is give him hope.
Hope for food. Food to eat today and die tomorrow of hunger again, you might question. Yes, food that will sustain him for today. That's all that matters to him. 'Cuz you know what? At least this beggar, even after all he's gone through, hasn't given up and gone and killed himself. But you have given up. Even without considering helping this beggar, for more than 30 seconds.
Kaushik, might call this fate. The beggar's fate. And your fate. If he dies tomorrow it's what was written for him. That's your logic ain't it Kaushik? yes, I agree there are somethings we have no control over. Some choices that have been made for us. But there's other choices you have to make... you have to live by also. No? So, If I throw my hands in the air and pronounce that I'm now tired and I'm leaving it all upto fate, put my legs on the couch and sit down with the latest paperback, it's fate. If everything was written for me, all my choices have already been made for me, I'll just keep sitting with the lastest paperback of the next tomorrow and the next to next tomorrow, until, my destiny is reached.
Now, you'll say that IS probably what your're fate decided for you. Sitting back and thinking you were tricking fate, when it was really tricking you! Yeah? So, if people have everything written for them, why do they make an effort to NOT waste their lives? 'Cuz that's written for them too?
I don't know, but doesn't all this make it sound like you have no purpose at all? It sounds pathetic to me. If everyone kept thinking that everything was already written for them, they'd stop making efforts. Stop believeing. Stop trying. After all, that's what their fate was supposed to be??!
Do you get my point? Or is it like asking you to find a needle in a haystack? It's simple. It's not complicated. Don't make it complicated. You have a mind. A heart. You aren't a robot that's been programmed with certain feelings and certain thoughts ONLY. Your mind is yours and your heart is yours. Yes, your thoughts are conditioned by your surroundings. But what you do with these surroundings and how you apply these thoughts, is in your hands. There is something you were brought here to do. Do it. Don't wait for IT to make you do what you were meant to do. What's the point of you living then?
Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "All the world's a stage and all men and women actors." You do your part, play your roles and leave. It sticks to my mind. The catch here is to remember that it's an impromtu play. Aye' that's the wonder of the thing.. You write your story, and others carry it on.
By chosing to give the beggar some money, I did what I wanted to do. What I could do, right then, with what I had. Call me a fool, but tomorrow, my sis, might help another person, just because she saw me help someone. And the circle goes on.
Today, I could only collect 200 bucks for a cause, in a week. It's a small amount to you and me. But not to someone who has lost everything he's ever worked for, because of some sesmic plates moving, it's a way to support his family, give him a meal a day, a sweater, anything. I didn't NOT do anything, at least. I didn't sit back on my couch and call the government all kinds of a fool for not doing their work while muttering a few pityful oh's and ah's and how sad's staring at my T.V. set. But, maybe it was their fate to die? Why should anyone do anything? It's anyone's fate to not do anything?
What's more is that it was bigger than the 2 rupees I've given up until now. The pennies I could afford to give. It was a step. A step forward.
We went on this orphanage trip from college. We had just finished lunch, and I was walking down the steps when I saw some seniors play catch-catch with a small kid. And some this lil kiddo heard me tell a friend of mine that I wanted to play too. No sooner had I uttered the words, did I find myself being trotted onto the field with a mere peice of plywood for a bat and small ball. So, I was made to play football, cricket and catch-catch barefoot in the middle of the day. It was the best time I'd had in ages. I was the star bowler since I took three wickets in a row!! :)..Seeing these kiddos laugh...It was the first time in more than a year that I found myself laughing. Laughing without a care in the world. Laughing with these lil kids. I was the "foreigner akka" (akka meaning sister).. 'guess my attempts at tamil speaking didn't fool nobody :)
They didn't choose to be orphaned. It was a choice made for them. They didn't choose to be taken in, loved, and cared for either. It was a choice that was made for them. What they do with this love, is in their hands. They have somewhere to go, some thing to do. How they reach it is up to them. One kid could get angry at the world and get on the wrong tracks, earn money, and become rich, for example. While another could be greatful for the love he was being given, work hard, and want to prove that it wasn't a total waste of time, earn money and become rich. Either way, they're both rich kids at the end of the day. If that's what their destiny was meant to be, they've got it. Either way.
Point I'm getting to is, amongst the other's I've tried to make, is that it felt good to give these kids, aged from somewhere in between 15 days to 14 years, fun and laughter. So, what if it was for a day? I'm not saying we are going to stop with one day. I'm saying don't say "what will this one day of fun do for them?" It's just a pityful excuse for not doing anything. Yes, we might not be able to go back and play with them, but for that one day they left loved and happy. And that does more for them than anything you'll be doing by mocking.
There is nothing more to helping others than helping them. That's it. Whatever satisfaction you derive from it is an added plus. It's a bonus. It's a no-strings attached affair. Helping people less fortunate than you, in whatever way you can, however you can, whenever you can, is just about helping people. Helping them.
Srutt your stuff. Do your thing. Use your mind. Follow your heart. Don't complicate the simple things... kick up your heels. Let your hair down. You get a chance only once. Make your choice. Write your story.
well buddy, i always thought u do a bit too much thinking for your age :-/
u r rite about somethings there - th e helping other people thing! it sounds nice, feels nice n a lot of people talk about it and very less actually roll up their sleeves n get into the act. i guess, thats wht really differentiats the talkers n the doers!!!
among all the other things u hv said, begging is something i feel real strongly about. i agree all this 'dnt-encourage-them' thing is crap, bt not completely so. some are truly pushed into the state bt a lots of other get into it voluntarily. its true, trust me! people reproducing like rabbits jst for the sake of hving more hands to beg - its like a family business!!! i guess sitting all day n looking striken n hungry is an easy job for many people. i agree, there are lots who genuinely need help but these other guys give them a bad name.
lets talk abt these people then, the real ones - old, handicapped, whatever! ok, u give them something today, they eat, they live. tomorrow is another day. maybe they'll eat, maybe they'll live. if they dont - good! if they do - so wht??!!!
i dont wana sound real messed up n all bt what these people really need is money, or better, a chance to get a clear shot at life. your giving them 1-2 rs a days is not going to help them one bit. you mite feel bright eyed and bushy tailed after ur 'charity' bt really, do u think u made any difference???... (good, u grew out of the cynic stage, some people are still stuck in there, like urs truly! i dont like being cynical, the 'wht-the-hell' feeling is the worst in the world, trust me, bt wht the hell!!! that's life!!!)
if anything must be done it should be done by the government...bt i m nt here to sound off on my political views..its a whole different story.
anyways, wht i said abt begging doesn't apply for the orphanges n earthquake-relief, k? for kids, money is just paper. its the love n care that matters, u r rite, even if it is just for a day. mayb u'll jst leave them feeling sadder, lonelier and even more damned then before bt i guess they'll feel its worth the one day of happiness.
whoa! i hv bn bitten by ur bug, look at the size of this 'comment'...anyways, u kp helping. it makes u feel good, like u hv made a difference. maybe one day u WILL be in a position to make a change. that day v'll hv this conversation again. meanwhile, i m going bk to finishing my book about utopia. maybe i should run for prime minister....
anyways P, whts the connection b/w the title n the matter... it made me smile despite my ban on all topics concerning socks n boots, esp. if they r litte :-D
hy!!!!!!!
wht's wrong w this template?!!! it sux!!!! i cant c my name!!! or anyone else's, for that matter!
i advise u to change it promptly, P!
NOW i know what the prv post was for!!
this post is VERY long
Preetika,
Phew, somebody finally came out with it...fate isn't a pre-written prediciton of your life. Your life...is what what YOU make it to be.
Sure, there's like...2% of life hat you can't control, like being stuck in the toilet during a tsunami hit...or getting the wrong address from someone and walking into a room full of terrorists instead of where you wanted to go...but it's still debatable that those situations are caused by you.
After all, you might not have been in the toilet during the tsunami if you hadn't eaten/drunk as much as you did...
a.murthy,
I agree, you're completely screwed up...
@aishu/aysu : :) that's the difference. you don't get what i'm saying. Help, 'cuz that's what you are doing. HELPING. not for self satisfaction and tax redemptions/deductions. And, this whole "till i am in a position to actually do something" is what im calling CRAP. and an pityful excuse for not doing anything. Do what you can with what you have and when you can. That's what i'm saying. 'guess i can kiss anyone understanding anything i've written goodbye :) :(
@bangalore guy: yep, long post. i'm jst telling it, like it is.
@born stinger: im nt sure if that's a good thing or not?? :-|
@aash: thank you!! lol. why do u think aishu is screwed up??
thanks for visitng guys!!
About beggars, "Ummeed pe duniya kaayam hai". Your point about hope is apt but isolated, flash in the pan efforts do not achieve consistent success. Better to be part of an organization for all this.
The bit on choices is very interesting but the catch is which choice is which-free will or destiny.
@hiren: isolated or not. im doing something. this whole thing of joining an organisation sounds really good, but tell me, have you joint one?
@anjan: debates, aah, yes. of course. I'd like to see it eradicated too. But, if I say such a thing here, all im gnna hear is "dream on" . For something as simple as "helping" a person, people want to be PM's before they think they can do something... eradication seems like the something in the virtual world to them.
Thanks for dropping by guys!
Hmm, Fate... I guess you could explain away anything you can't explain with that- but there are choices that you can make- that can change your fate or another's.
Do you believe that what people receive is what they deserve? And yet, if you show no compassion to others... what is it that you deserve?
Quoting Shakespeare again " The Quality of mercy is without strain... Justice tempered with mercy..."
@nandini: well said.
"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath:
it is twice bless’d;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes "
Thanks for dropping by!
I believe in Fate, to an extent... I think it gives us choices and depending on what choice we make, it gives us the end result.
Seems as though everything I wanted to say has been said here already!
Its the joy of being in a position to give - here the point is giving - not its quality or quantity. The fate - going by the sapce-time scientific explanation, whatever has a possibility exist in some dimention; to me the fate is happiness (its on us to recognize it) - the flexibility is the choice of road we take to reach their. We all are actors in the play called life but with the flexibility to change it every now and then to move to a role we like better. The only goal is to survice till the end to meet happyness.
@triya: thankus.
@horus: yep, that's putting everything i had to say in a nutshell!!
Thanks for visitng guys!
looks like i am damningly late at posting a comment here...and since all the NICE(forgive the pun) words have been taken all i can say is....like with everything, there are a select few(maybe even a select lot) on whom depends the image of everyone else, so they've got the ability to influence the public by their actions.
this is the one single thing i find very disturbing, and thanks to your long post i feel we've understood that there's another lot which doesn't fit into the image built by the others....thanks and keep writing
Leaving things like this to fate is a shoddy and spineless excuse, if you can't really be bothered, the least you can do is say it.
According to me, like Pika said, we gotta write our own story - giving makes us feel better about ourselves, and it also helps the needy. lol, talk about by-products of ego massages!
Giving is a simple thing, when we have too much of a thing, it ain't fun. Too much food and we get an upset tummy, I guess the same analogy follows, moderation and balance is highly important, which is why it would do well to us to accept and give to the ones that need as our social responsibility.
That it is relative who needs and who really isn't needy is another story, another post of Pika's!
@navneet: ..and for the LATE, damningly LATE comment, you are going to have hell to pay mistar. Thank you for giving me credit, but I've just said whatever I feel. St from the heart n all that :) Thanks for visitng! You never fail to make my day.
@amelie: Now, now.. look who decided to leave a comment!! The who-is-needy-and-who-isn't isn't that hard to figure out. It depends from person to person. It's just what you think and feel!! thanks for visitng love, I really appreciate it.
Thankus, once again guys!
You never fail to make my day.
wait a minute....are you sure you really are okay? plz check into the apollo for my sake...it must be the hormones(i love being nasty sometimes).
...and about PAYING...what exactly do you mean??
@navneet: surprising, but very true, im afraid. i don't need to check in at apollo, but i did pay a visit to my dearest friends at Kilpauk. As for paying, I have my moments of being nasty, I'll let you know when it's ur turn :)
I see I've missed quite a bit while on my rather impossible to attain the patience to study for my board exams.
I like your post though I don't necessarily agree with what you've said. The gist of it I can relate to. But the beggar example is not appropriate in this context, for the simple reason that there's too many other things that goes into a simple act of giving a beggar a rupee from your wallet.
Why do you give a beggar a buck? Is it because you think to yourself "I have to actually DO SOMETHING instead of sitting around talking about society and its evils like my friends". Or is it because you want to satisfy your conscience? The latter is sadly the only answer to this.
If you really do want to do something for society, then do more. You must understand that most of the child beggars you see on the road have been instructed by their parents and others to carry out their begging jobs, so that more is earnt in a day of begging. Children are considered an economic burden on poor families. On the other hand they;ve been serving as extra hands to earn more money for the family. Is all of this right? Have you thought about all of this? If you really want to do something, look deep into the problem. Don't shave off the outer edges. That's the easiest way out.
Most of these beggars are potentially capable of earning money through some job or the other, and we're merely discouraging them when we feel sorry and give them a buck. Give them a buck. But don't stop with that. If there's more to be done, do it. Only then you really DO SOMETHING for society.
As a critic of your blog(and many others), I'd have to admit that thios easily one of your best posts.
I agree with all that you are saying. The reason why i've mentioned giving a rupee to a beggar is because it is a step. A tiny step. An infinitesmaly more less tiny step was me making an effort to collect funds to send this to J&K. And i did do it. Someday I'd like to do more. And these small things are what give me the faith and strenght to go on.
As for giving to the needy, by not giving this child money you are subjecting him/her to brutal treatment from his/her parents. By giving this kid a few coins, you're promising him/her at least ONE roti for the day.
Like amelie pointed out, it's a whole debate in itself; this whole who is really needy.
I give because I believe im helping, in the only way i can, with what I have, right now. I don't give to people who look fit enough to walk around: I mean, it's simply who YOU think needs help.
ALl i'm saying is: Don't not do ANYTHING AT ALL by waiting to find yourself in a situation which you think might prove more effective in tackling a probelm. Do what you can NOW. Don't wait to be the PM before you think you can help someone.
Thanks for taking the time to go through the post and leaving a comment, Dhruva. You knw me and accepting compliments dnt go together. For what it's worth, thank you.
i think it is great that you are making time to go and help. i dont totally agree with the beggar thing though. do we know for a fact that the money we give beggars is only for the single roti he eats in a day?? i have seen quite a few of these guys go begging all day and then get drunk with all that money in the night.
is that really what we are looking to do when we give them some money. as far as i think, giving money directly to a person is never really going to make much of a difference. you give it to him today, he eats today, nobody gives him anything tomorrow and he dies. is that really what we want to happen? all it does is satisy our conscience that we have done something good on a day.
i was like this for a very long time, whenever i had some money i would go give beggars. i dont really give beggars any money anymore. i try to indirectly help the organizations who go helping these people.
i am part of a couple of NGO's and i have volunteered my time to work with them whenever i make a trip to india. this satisfies me a lot because i know i am working at something towardshe long term develeopment and not just a day to day survival thing.
but yeah one thing though, atleast you are helping in the way that you think is right. we need a lot of people to start doing it.
@aytida: i really like what you do and respect you for it. May God bless.
@rahul: long time, no see. Thank you for the compliments.
@dhruva: I'm doing what I can today. I realise a kid isnt suppose to "earn". But in his/her situation it's what is asked of him/her. By not giving them anythign im only leading them to get beaten up and in a worse situation.
Don't put words in my mouth. and neither have i in any way implied that i DO NOT NOT WANT to change the system. Of course I want to change it. But by NOT GIVING you're neither doing anything to eradicate the problem nor doing anythign to help in the way that you can. yes, I could join NGO's and the likes. Yes, I will do it. Until then..
but you do know that its not balderwash but balderdash don't you?
and I believe the expression is kick up your heels, kick your heels up doesn't quite cut it.
Also, is Kaushik pointedly not gonna comment because of your exuberant referrals and cross-questioning of his philosophies?
@amelie: i was waiting for someone to pick those out. thankus :)
Kaushik is busy studying.
sad huh?
:) thanks for dropping by!
hello..
hey.
do well.
all the bestch!!
I have this bad habit of reading other's comments before I write one. So, I'm not going to write yet another LOOONG one (if you really want to pin-point one) nor are you going to hear something that's here more than once, twice or the ones that are AGREED hundred and two times.
Hell, yeah.. I just wanted to leave a comment and a few words of sighs. I've been late to this whole blog unlike nav who holds a completely different story.
Just a small note about those who utter the words 'LONG'. Whats your real problem? I would see this atleast more than a single time and sometimes even from the author asking excuses about it. There isn't anything wrong about a LONG comment as well, unless you really want to them to be flashing on your own blog post rather than a comment on others. (may be 'wrong' wasn't the apt word.. psychologically)
Preetika isn't stupid. (@sthupit: Sorry, sometimes i have to spell your name incorrectly.. twice)
Great post!! huh?! this post isn't some information you ought to know. All of us saw how people perceived things different differently.
So, Great Expressions!! We'll keep visiting as long as you keep posthing.
Thanking the archives!
NeoDarwinian
--
A little bit of gibberish tehre here and.
PS(for the unknown): As of this post, preetika's new nick is: 'shtupit'
@neo: lol i see someone s been real jobless off late. I have a vague idea about what i wrote in this one, and i'm glad you didn't comment ON the post, 'cuz then i'd have to read it. Lol.
Thanks for bisiting and taking time.
Yours forever sthupitly.