I do agree and believe that love is what makes the world go around but then love aint just what you share with the opposite sex. It's what you share with your mum, dad, neighbor, dog, neighbor's dog.. and the other people who play the smallest roles in your life too. But somehow I've seen how we, as "teenagers" somehow seem to neglect all this love and stick to the "love" and the "special someone" we spend half our lives looking for.
Ruin ourselves, looking for. Like Aytida put it the other day, I mean the chances are one in six million. And that is, if your lucky. Instead of giving this love and giving appreciation and accepting appreciation from these people, who at the end of the day are the only ones who stick around for you, we end up sobbing for strangers. Giving up our ideals for them. Self respect and self esteem for them.
The list is endless.. the stuff I've seen my friends do, friends of friends do, for this so called "special person".Who might I remind you, will only walk out on you, at the end of the day. Month. Year. But he/she will. Makes no difference if your the guy or the girl or the girl who plays the man for the guy who plays the woman in the relationship.
I probably sound like I'm just ranting because I've just had a fight or something... It is said that Hell hath no fury like that of a woman spurned... I am pissed. Bloddy pissed. Yep, that's a bloddy with a single 'o' and a double 'd', so sue me. Why? Because these days even friends walk out on you. People you've trusted for 6 long years. Had faith in. Had faith in to have faith in you even when you didn't have no faith in you, just so that something would keep you going.
I'm not trying to sound crannky. At least not anymore crannkier than usual.. I'm just looking for an answer to a very simple question, if you can't trust someone you've known for a lifetime to be there for you, then who can you trust? I actually spelt bery with a 'v'. So, now you know I'm serious.
Tantrums, tears, happiness, sorrow.. anything and everything. To deal with all of it just like you did for them? I'm starting to reach to a conclusion. And that is, that all this is just a myth. It's just a waste of time and energy and emotion. You'll probably get more out of feeding a stray dog. I know it sounds... mean, crazy, whatever.. But, I'm serious.
According to the article, you're suppose to take what you've learnt and move on. Sure, like to L.A? THAT would be simpler. And more practical. People aren't taps, that can just be switched off. Well, at least I am not. And from the looks of it, I'm one of a kind.
If friends walk out, what am I suppose to expect from others? Ha. Anyway, before I introduce the 50th line of thought, I'd like to say one thing. There is no "moving on" that anyone can do. There is giving in. And forgiving. To yourself, and yourself, in that order. And when your done forgiving, your ready to take on the world again.
Does that make me sound cold hearted? It does na? Yep, that's what it is.. Ice princess, at your service. But seriously.. I've reached a place where I try to push out emotional entanglements from my life. Have been at this place for a while. Yuck. But I like it simple. All this stuff people waste time on... boy friends, and crushes and drugs and what's in and what's not and gossip... it IS a waste of time. I'm not trying to put anyone down or anything.. I'm just saying. Okie, that was the 51st line of thought.
I just wanted to write.. because.. well, Because. Eggs and tomatoes are welcome.
look for new opportunities huh!!! so what do we do for that, make a resume with your old experiences in it?? this is crap...
there is no moving on... u have to deal with what has happened and i think we ourselves are respnsible!! the human mind is too strong to forget things like this
a very strong post from u...... ur stronget ever?
this is an exact replica of "the sister talks" you give me...
i specially like the " wast of emotions " its really true
all this IS a waste of emotion
Now hush little baby don’t you cry
Everythings gonna be alright
love,
bani
waste*
:d
why do i feel that you are torn between wanting to get back and wanting to hold yourself away from everything that's hurted you?
maybe an example would be better: take the mumbai blasts...the very next day the people were back on their feet...surely there's something thats gotta be learnt
Umm, I don't know. I guess no matter how much we hope things would stay the same, we end up growing apart after school. But, oh well...no pain, no gain..might as well jump into things. Even if you're hurt, atleast it means you'll learn something.
@ay: i dunno.
@sis: thankus.
@nav: I guess I am, was. At some point in the last year I thought I could go back.. but I know one thing for sure this time round.. I don't want to. I can't.
@s: i dunno about school, i wasn't thinking in that way. And i dunno.
thankus for bisiting guys... lotsaluv and hugs,
yours forever sthupitly.
i find that with each of ur blog entries... they are starting to make more and more sense to me... although i dunno if thats a good or a bad thing... i totally agree with u.... at last im back from "gods own country" <--- very very rainy place .. kerala :D and and starting work on the letter "q".. u very mean.. lol q of all the alphabets
Rythwin
didn't understand the aprt about "i can't".
makes me feel that you do not want to move ahead coz of some ass and hence not give a chance to others who lie unnoticed.
do correct me if i am wrong.
Hey,
Good to hear from you... How you doing?
I din't entirely read your post now... (will do after work)
But I get the gist of it.
Let me tell you something girl, The world isa huge place... and even huger is the one you live in and that extends more than what you see.
You are a lovely person with an extremely beautiful inner-self, undoubtedly... someone everyone loves and wants to be with (as I have seen it online.)
When the times are down, maybe it's time we look at ourselves. Take a breath and see what could be done (with a smile :) ofcourse)
Take Care.
~fEelix
PS: See Rythwin is already and almost hitting on you :P
@Ry: lol.. poor kiddo. Hope you had an awesome trip.
@nav: Nope, your absolutely correct. I could have been wrong once. Twice. Thrice. If we were stretching things, I'd even agree to four times. But after the fifth, I'm ready to retire. Sigh.
@FEelix: i just wish you'd stop disappearing on me. I know all that mumbo jumbo. I'm usually the one at the dishing end. At the end of the day, it's all crap. Sorry, but right now, I'm feelind very safe in the fact that I don't and won't let anyone else in. Pathetic, I know. But when the time comes, i guess I will let go. I'm thinking around the next millenium :)
Please don't disappear on us. And by the by, poor Ry.
Thankus for bisiting guys, lotsaluv and hugs,
Yours forever sthupitly.
hey, all said and done, there are still good people left...you just need to find 'em...maybe active looking isn't the answer, but when you do find them, well, treasure them..