Making no sense? But then.. when do i ever, na?
This "year" (college year) started with putting me on a roller coaster. And I haven't been allowed to get of it, ever since. First, an awesome trip to Munnar for 10 days. The "to Munnar" involved combing all the major National Highways of the south. A day after I come back, my grandmom passes away, so I go to Delhi. Over the next two weeks I went from Patiala to Delhi to Chandigarh, i.e., combed all the major National Highways of the north. I come back just in time to make it to my NSS camp, which helped me cover some of the remotest areas of the south.
I get back, and I'm being pushed to college. One would think life becomes easier as you move up on the seniority scale. But nooooooo , we get piled on with assignments, projects, department projects and a requirement of 75% attendance per subject, per month. Maybe it's just me. Sigh. Dad leaves for two weeks to Europe.
He comes back and we go to Hyderabad for my checkup. Come back, and fly back within a week for my surgery. I miss two weeks of college and five exams. Fifteen tablets a day and everyone pestering me about eating "right". And I get to look like a mummy for ten days. Talk about having the cake and eating it too.
Get back from college and get piled on with writing re-tests, submitting assignments I'd missed and project work that doesn't seem to go anywhere without me. I haven't even been back 10 days and my grandad passes away. Day before night.
Every time I get 5 minutes of peace and even think of putting my feet up and sitting, I get thrown into a gut wrenching loop. Presently, I refuse to cry. I used to be his favorite grandchild. Whenever he'd find someone who'd sit and spend time with him, he'd bore them with stories about me. How we washed the car together and how I'd pester him for sweets when he got back from work everyday. How he used to save my from my then evil cousin. He never tired of them.
When I saw him when I went for my grandmother's funeral, he was like a lost kid. I used to sit beside him till he fell asleep. That was the last time I ever spoke to him... four months ago. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. I kept postponing writing my usual letters to him, cuz of all the stuff I was bogged down with. He was hard of hearing, so talking to him on the phone was difficult... Ugh.
I refuse to think. Any more than this. I refuse to think about what comes after this. I.... dunno.
Guess this is life.
Or something like it.
sadly but surely...this certainly is LIFE.
may your grandpa's soul find its peace...and so may you too.
take care
*hugs*
sometimes life is a little too harsh on us.... i guess all part of growing up and understanding life better.......
i am so sorry... take care
*hugs*
Happens.. Too sick to comment further.. ill be back when i get rid of this horrid fever
what what did you get by making me cry again. like i can't myself keep seeing all that hapnd 4 months. like i don't wake up picturising that whole fucking thing that hapenned
guess you happy now
May he rest in peace!
I feel sorry.
*hugs* to you and bani.
i am sorrty for the prvs comment...
just bummed out by all this
*embarrased look*
@bani: i don't think you should be embarassed at all...it was a perfect emotional outpour and i guess everyone would understand(and it doesn't matter if they don't)
take care and stay strong.
@all: thankus.
lotslauv and hugs,
yours forever sthupitly.
@sis: I posted this cuz i needed to think. You had your cry, you can deal with this now, i still haven't. won't. can't. I'm sorry if it made you cry, that wasn't the aim.
Yours forever sthupitly.