Greetings.

A lot has been going on. And it will go on and on. And on. So, me thought, why not stop, look around and appreciate :) So, let's join hands and... kidding. This whole "blocking" by the government to deal with people using blogs as a means to convey distasteful information, according to me, is Okie. Meaning... I don't think it's effective and i also don't see why there is such a big fuss. Yeah, I can't see some pics on my blog and all right now... but then, hell, your talking about national security. I'd also like to point out here *ahem clears throat* that with freedom comes responsibilty. Responsibilty to express your thoughts and whatever but also to not cause harm to others who might not or might agree with you. So, all this freedom of expression is mumbo jumbo. However, I'd like to have my blog back.

I went for a play the other day. I've been out every evening since last friday!! It's a record for someone like me.... all this travelling to college and my trip around the country that i've done in two months, usually gives me a craving for my night t-shirts and my books and music in my room. But keeping busy is the key right now :) The play was done by the theatre society of my school.

Seeing these little kiddos go up there and trying their damnest possible to keep you falling off your chair with laughter... made me feel older than usual :) It was amazing... I mean, there was a time when these very same brats reached my waist.. and now they tower over me and have the capacity to keep me glued for two hours!! They got The Pied Piper of Hamelin to India, Chennai to be exact....was bi lingual.

Oh!! And guess what? I finally managed to gather up courage and go ask my HOD if I could start a newsletter in college... and guess what he said??!! YeS!!! yay for me. hehahahhaha.. So, that gives me work to do. Wish me luck. But I'm thinking with Kaushik on my side, I'll do good. But still... wish me loads of luck.

Me is going to stop, before I blabble on and on and on and on and on. Just wanted to write. Loads of love and hugs with the hope that you had a lovely day,

Yours forever sthupitly.

It's kinda funny.. I was reading a piece in the newspaper today.. in the magazine section, that I nearly puked on. It was on love and how we should let go of all the "hurt" and leave ourselves open to new oppurtunities.. and how love is what keeps the world going. Utter bullshit. And it's bery surprising that people still talk in such cliche`s and believe in them.

I do agree and believe that love is what makes the world go around but then love aint just what you share with the opposite sex. It's what you share with your mum, dad, neighbor, dog, neighbor's dog.. and the other people who play the smallest roles in your life too. But somehow I've seen how we, as "teenagers" somehow seem to neglect all this love and stick to the "love" and the "special someone" we spend half our lives looking for.

Ruin ourselves, looking for. Like Aytida put it the other day, I mean the chances are one in six million. And that is, if your lucky. Instead of giving this love and giving appreciation and accepting appreciation from these people, who at the end of the day are the only ones who stick around for you, we end up sobbing for strangers. Giving up our ideals for them. Self respect and self esteem for them.

The list is endless.. the stuff I've seen my friends do, friends of friends do, for this so called "special person".Who might I remind you, will only walk out on you, at the end of the day. Month. Year. But he/she will. Makes no difference if your the guy or the girl or the girl who plays the man for the guy who plays the woman in the relationship.

I probably sound like I'm just ranting because I've just had a fight or something... It is said that Hell hath no fury like that of a woman spurned... I am pissed. Bloddy pissed. Yep, that's a bloddy with a single 'o' and a double 'd', so sue me. Why? Because these days even friends walk out on you. People you've trusted for 6 long years. Had faith in. Had faith in to have faith in you even when you didn't have no faith in you, just so that something would keep you going.

I'm not trying to sound crannky. At least not anymore crannkier than usual.. I'm just looking for an answer to a very simple question, if you can't trust someone you've known for a lifetime to be there for you, then who can you trust? I actually spelt bery with a 'v'. So, now you know I'm serious.

Tantrums, tears, happiness, sorrow.. anything and everything. To deal with all of it just like you did for them? I'm starting to reach to a conclusion. And that is, that all this is just a myth. It's just a waste of time and energy and emotion. You'll probably get more out of feeding a stray dog. I know it sounds... mean, crazy, whatever.. But, I'm serious.

According to the article, you're suppose to take what you've learnt and move on. Sure, like to L.A? THAT would be simpler. And more practical. People aren't taps, that can just be switched off. Well, at least I am not. And from the looks of it, I'm one of a kind.

If friends walk out, what am I suppose to expect from others? Ha. Anyway, before I introduce the 50th line of thought, I'd like to say one thing. There is no "moving on" that anyone can do. There is giving in. And forgiving. To yourself, and yourself, in that order. And when your done forgiving, your ready to take on the world again.

Does that make me sound cold hearted? It does na? Yep, that's what it is.. Ice princess, at your service. But seriously.. I've reached a place where I try to push out emotional entanglements from my life. Have been at this place for a while. Yuck. But I like it simple. All this stuff people waste time on... boy friends, and crushes and drugs and what's in and what's not and gossip... it IS a waste of time. I'm not trying to put anyone down or anything.. I'm just saying. Okie, that was the 51st line of thought.

I just wanted to write.. because.. well, Because. Eggs and tomatoes are welcome.

A long long time ago, feels like eternity already... I think we're talking something around 14 odd years or so something dropped into my life, and it's never been the same. Hellish, heavenly and a downright pain all together in a matter of few minutes... that's me sis for you.

Yesterday while on the bus, I was still wondering what to give this young lady for her birthday and then it struck me... her room's blue, and blue is water... water meant fishes in awesome colors, green, purples, oranges.. and loads more. And I haven't touched my paint brush in ages.. haven't done anything on a large scale.. So I thought, what the hell? Called up ma, and told her what was on my mind.. she told me to get a seat as fast as I could and sit.

I started at 6:00 PM last evening.. worked into the night, attended a full day at college.. Till 4:30 PM, gave up my seat to an old lady.. which meant standing up for an hour, walking the rest one kimi home... and then again worked my ass off till 9:00 PM.. when finally, things were just like I wanted them. For my sis. This is what I did...



It ain't yellow.. that's the light talking. Lighting, I mean.

Hope you have a lovely day... May God bless you with the best that there is... Loads of love, and a million thankus.

Hugs,

Yours forever sthupitly.

P.S: I haven't done any painting work since.. well, since.Because? well, Because. Just worked with black and white.. No color. Na-huh. So, this ain't THAT good, but yeah.

Sigh.

lol... today was one hectic day. But was one of the best... 'cuz we had lectures only in the morning. This noon I had to host a debate session in class. Did pick up a few topics, some really really good... but then, since attendance wasn't really really important alot of people didn't turn up. And with whatever was left, I had to make do. And that's what I did... I chucked the hi funda topics and stuck to the popular easy and "in" topics. One being reservation and the whole hoobaloo and the other being the misuse of tv and interent. Real easy, I know. But you can't do much with the others I'd picked up, without prior preperation.

So they yelled, and fought and I moderated.

Gets a person thinking.. this debate stuff. Na.. no thinking stuff for today.. just spent an hour and a half working out a program for tomorrows class, don't think I really have the patience to do any more thinking and typing.

The weather is really good... yep, it's raining. And I absolutely love the smell of rain on the earth... plus, there's a bery bery nice breeze too. I almost typed breeze blowing :) It's one of those nights, when you snuggle into your bed and catch up with the latest on your phone or dim the lights and pick up your favoritest book and read... oooh and don't forget the music. I'm thinking Phil Collins, Rod Stewart, Keating.... :)

Okie me is going to stop before I spoil everyone's mood and then no one can enjoy the rain.... Have yourselves a lovely day.

Sweetdreams.

Munchkin: It's nice to have you around.. just to talk. Specially, at times like these when I can't figure out what's creating those butterflies in my stomach. Thankus.


Pumpkin: yeah, that's k... you know I'm always there..

Pumpkin: what i don't understand is how come your still around... after everything I've done to you. I've insulted you, your relationship with a certain someone even though I know how much it meant to you... and on and on.

Munchkin: So? you've apologised... and you didn't actually mean all of that. So, what if we fight? I'm still here, because I want to be... between friends, if you can't forgive and forget, then it ain't worth it. And what's more, I love you just the way you are... they don't make friends, better than you.

Pumpkin: Yeah. But, I'm sorry.

Munchking: Hey.. that's okie.. I don't hold any of that against you.

Pumpkin: No, your not understanding.. I'm sorry.

silence

silence

silence

Munchkin: So your leaving?

Pumpkin: For your own good.

Munchkin: Uh-huh. Sure.

Being pushed into this post by nav... na.. actually, have been meaning to write on this very topic all day.. but have been indulging in lotsa tv, triffle pudding and calories. Bunked college. A full day.

Simplicity.... It's kinda tough for me to describe what it means to me. Because, as you've seen, I'm actually a very complicated person but I love simplicity. As in, in the head I'm complicated and in life, I like simple. See.. even this sounds complicated now.

Simple...I call myself that, because if you define simplicity like Koze , then I am simple. No decking up... whether I'm beautiful that way or not, that's the way I'm most comfortable with my skin. Simple I am because I like a simple lifestyle. It doesn't mean that I don't like to go out once in a while, or that I don't like letting my hair down... I just like doing it the simple way. Friends over for pizza, just out for coffee... something like that, and that to once in two months or something. I like the fact that I can lie in my bed, in my bery nice new room, and enjoy a good read at the end of a day. Or just sit with dad and watch the late night news. Or be on the phone at twelve in the night, catching up with friends and family. I still believe in romance, or did till yesterday... And I get goosebumps when I watch the Airtel add. And beggars know I'm a sucker. And I let old ladies take my seat on the bus. And that even though I curse afterwards, I let some bitchy-looking-for-a-fight women take my seat instead of playing who can shove better, on the bus. That's simple sthupit girl for you.

What ain't simple about me is that with friends, people I'm really close to and with people reading this, I actually think aloud at times. Sometimes I fight just so that I don't feel bad about whatever it is that's making me feel bad. Those stupid dumb fights which friends are suppose to look right through and tolerate you until your ready to talk about whatever it is. The fact that while I love red and black over all other colors, I really don't have a favorite color. While I love chinese there are times when I love pizzas or ma's parathas or chocolate or anything else. What's even more complicated about me is that while sometimes I'm the rough and tough I-don't-need-anyone types, there are others when I do. And I think ALOT. And with the rate at which things are going right now... I'm going to be insecure for life. That's complicated sthupit girl for you.

So, basically I'm a very simple complicated person. Uh-huh.

What's your take on simple and complicated?

This just seals it. It's fate. He actually left her and married someone else. I can't believe it... they were so good together. They looked good together. Perfect. They even had fun doing silly things together. They fought, but they worked on it later too. But he walked out on her. He went and married someone else. A simple girl.

I don't get it.. what is it with guys and going out with girls who are "simple". What does this simple mean? From what I've seen around me? It means girls who have no brains and don't know how to take a stand. Fiene, so I'm being unfair. I know it. But... I dunno. It's just so sad. You give a relationship, any relationship, everything you've got. And then suddenly bada bang bada boom you're alone and "he" is with someone else, blissfully happy. It sucks. Really really sucks.

Last night.. I'd called my friends over for dinner.. house warming sort of a thing. Was fun... somehow, everytime we meet up a sense of melachony settles over me once I'm back home. I dunno why. I guess it's because it means fun time is over, time to get back to real life? I feel happy that everyone is happy and enjoying their lives and relationships and all that, touch wood, but then I feel sad too. I dunno why. I just don't.

Yuck, no wonder guys like simpler girls better. Sigh.

Yuck. Feeling all mushy mushy. And sthupit. And dumb. And all the nonsense stuff. So I thought I might as well bore you guys with tales about my camp.

We left late and arrived to candle light classrooms, where we were to sleep. On the bare floor. Managed to not eat insects the first night, well at least as best as I could with only a candle as source of light :) The first morning was, to say the least, over whelming. Discovered the joys and techniques of bathing in fields and keeping your privacy at the same time... built make shift bathrooms so more people could bathe at the same time... Got electricity supply wires from the house of a friend, our seniors had made when they had come here last year, God bless the guy and his family, if it hadn't been for him we wouldn't have survived. Got late for roll call in the morning, and blasted for it... didn't do much that day. Was bored to death.

The second day brought with it actually rising before the sun, so as to make it to roll call on time. And that seemed to set the pattern for the days to come. Up and ready with coffee, what we called hot dirty water, by six thirty. Breakfast done with and rooms, two classrooms for 35 of us girls, cleaned by nine thirty, we used to set out to clean up the church, the hospital, the school, etc there. We'd walk the roads of the village, singing much to the delight of the villagers. And of course there was doing a little balle balle in my honour and pulling my leg over the tamil I had picked up and was trying to use.

Christined right about everyone present at the camp and got half of them into trouble with their parents, by teasing them with their "boy friends" when they were on the phone with their parents :) There was a Pedigree, because his surname meant dog food in Tamil; then there was V.P.S, vetti porkki senior (Jobless road side senior, when loosely translated); M.P. , mottai patel (bald patel, when translated); Siren, because he had one very loose fuse wire; Baldy, for the obvious reason that he was bald; Rudy, for obvious reasons again and there was a Mrs. Rudy too ;); a Miss. Drooly for the very simple reason that she was on the phone for half the damn night... and many many more. I'm not mentioning their real names, for I'm in enough trouble already... having hit a guy with a broom yesterday. In my defence he'd been asking for it all week.. Okay, so I was just kidding and apologised. And apologised. And apologised... He took it okay, though he'd going to get ragged like hell in the hostel.

The seniors were glad to see our back sides yesterday when the camp finally ended. They'd had enough of my singing nursery rhymes to the tune of tamil songs and trying my tongue at new words and sentences. Though, I did succeed and managed to ask the villagers questions, which they understood and answered, before you ask, during the survey session. While I was surprised to find that there was proper current and water supply in the region and that most of the village was educated and was seeing to it that their kids were being educated too, I was shocked to learn that they were content with what they had. Whether it was because they had given up on the governments and had reconciled with their fates or whether it was because they really were happy with their lives, I'll never know. They did have complaints about lack of street lights, police and the absence of a government hospital. I hope we can help them out.

We did collect funds, out of our own willingness, to provide fees and school uniforms for a guy for his 11th and 12th studies, which he had been willing to do without for the lack of money to buy uniforms and pay the fees. We also rushed a sick person, for a week, to the nearest hospital. Nothing major.. but yeah, work all the same.

We were divided into 5 units at the camp, and each unit had specific duties, which they did by rotation every day. Catering and cleaning. The catering units helped fill water drums for use everyday. Twice a day. Help the cooks with the kitchen work.. and stuff like that. It was the toughest of the jobs, because we had to walk with cans of water over a kimi or so with cans of 30 litre capacity to fill huge drums, a million times. Or that's what it felt like.

Afternoons were off for all the cleaning units.. We'd all again go cleaning in the evenings again. Late evenings were utilised in playing and making calls.. And feedback reports by each unit. And entertainment by the catering unit, that had stayed indoors all day. So it was basically cat calling, booing and making fun time.

The seniors that accompanied us were a huge asset. They arranged everything, looked and worked on even the smallest detail, and took care of us. And of course ragged us. Me. They also showed us their cupcake side by bringing in cakes from the city for the birthday celebrators. And a gift a piece. They're not as bad as they led us to think when we first joined. Two people had to be rushed to the city hospital at 11:30 in the night, and they did it. They took care of it all. I had to be given a tetanus shot... and though they made me walk 3 kimis with a foot that had just been pierced with a rusted nail, they took care of it. While the teachers sat and basked in the sun.

They nutured, taught, tortured and played with us. I'm a whole new person. A black, thin and with- rash- all- over- her new person :) It was an amazing trip... in spite of the fact that we didn't have electricity for a lot of the time.. we ran out of gas, due to lack of funds from the Govt... inspite of mosquitoes.. inspite of everything... it was one helluva experience.

And you can't blame me for thanking God.. it's the once- in- a-lifetime type :)