So, basically I'm just talking much more to myself. In my head. And you, my dear friend, will be better of taking it from me, that you don't ever want to end up in such a situation, no matter what.
It was so damn peaceful a while ago. Each day, instead of praying for some "spice" in my life, I was asking for tranquility. Okay, so that'd be taking things a tad too far, but I guess, just some peace and quite. Safety.
It's funny... *warning bells ringing* This post on Navneet's blog made me laugh. Another irony. Silences, was what he's written on. And very eloquently. The reason it made my smile, a sad smile, was 'cuz while I claim to hate silences with all my life, it's what I crave for most these days.
But then again, silences don't always have to imply the calm before a storm, I'm beginning to see that. I hate it when it's thrown on me. When I'm talking and people just shut up. I can understand when I'm boring them with the gory details of my life, it's one of the reasons I don't anymore, but when we're talking about them? General stuff? And they find something better to do, and then three hours later, when all the entertainment's worn off, they'll call up like nothing s ever happened.
Bullshit.
No, I'm not taking a shot at anyone, even though it might feel that way. I don't want an apology, in fact, it's the last thing I want. In fact, I don't even know what I want. What I'm supposed to want. Any clue?
I don't really hate anything or anyone. Sure, people have bullshitted me, and walked on me and out on me, but I don't really hate them. I hope I haven't done all that stuff to people, but even if I have, I really wish they didn't hate me, and knowing me, I've probably apologised. I don't think I really know how to hate... it's one of those things where I figure life's too short, and hating takes too much energy. So, I'd rather hate brinjals and too much socialising and silences.
It's very easy to make me believe it's all my fault, for some reason, and people around me take definite advantage of that. It's maddening, now that I realise it. Or maybe, it really is.
Blah. Blah person, blah life, and blah writing. Is blah and will die blah.
I finally found the ghazal I was looking for on one of my old cd's and I'm so damn glad. There was a 2 hour special on worldspace last night, so that was fantabulous.
I dunno what exactly I wanted to write about, but I guess i'll stop, this's been torture enough.
Lotsaluv.
P.S: Will blahhing really have two h's?? Or will there be one? Hmmmm...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lady, enjoy your holidays and snap outta depression!
firstly, danke schon frau preetika fur die mention.
secondly, maybe instead of giving me the advice BS should've given it to you...with the sex reversed of course (until and unless you'd want it to remain that way)...i am talking about the massage thing ;)
thirdly, its the christmas spirit that you choose to display on your blog but not in your heart, so like the lady above who has asked you to snap out of it, i'll tell ya to forget everything and make a fresh beginning, make new friends...and just be there for people even if they wanna talk or not talk....it IS in silence that some of the most beautiful things get said...so keep a lookout for that.
so take care sthupit girl and seriously had i known you for real, you'd have got a good hug...i hope you like mascots in their mascot suits??? :P
silence is something u cant really get when u want it ever so badly.... i get my daily dose of silence with a long walk and my ipod (its getting harder though with this stupid snow all around)....
like somebody once told me "get busy" and am sure u will feel much better.... whats with all the depressing talk during vacation!!!
watch tv, go to the movies, read stuff, listen to your fav music, bake some cookies.... so many things to do, and yet all you do is think and get depressed??
take care granny :)
@sis : aey, what depression men. just a healthy dose of thinking.
@nav: u arye ze belcomes.
I am NOT depressed. Pah. I hate the word, even. What's to be depressed about? I have a lovely family, all my organs and limb work fiene, well, most of the time, all the people I love and care about are safe and happy. Ok, now touch wood.
I definitely need a head/ brain massage. But there's one teeny weeny problem, ya got it, I dnt have a brain.
The bubbles are very much still bubbling... it's just that suddenly at times doubts crop up. And hence the post.
Thank you for the hugs.
@ay: well, isn't this a surprise. a pleasant one, I assure you. I don't want to be busy... it's my holidays! I'll be busy enough once college reopens.
So, I sleep, I read, I listen to music and cook here and there. That means all items on your list have been checked. Hmph.
AND FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT DEPRESSED.
pah.
thanks for dropping by guys, and for the hugs, and the concern and everything else,
yours forever sthupitly.