Yesterday was one roller coaster ride. Spent the morning crying and feeling terrible, and hopeful, and the evening, listening to Jagjit Singh. Live in concert. For the first time. Lucky biatch, eh? That's me for you.
3 hours with the maestro. I haven't been this happy in eons!! The man is so bleddy good, the words, the music... everything. It all makes so much sense. And yet, at times it doesn't.
I remember, there was a time when dad didn't believe I understood what they were about. I was "too young". After a hard day, he'd lie down flat on the carpet in the hall and listen to Woh Kagaaz ki kashti, and I'd do just the same. Little did he know, that it did make sense to his lil girl, always did and always will.
There's some real sad ones, some real happy ones and some awesomely romantic ones. It's amazing how a few lines, put together in the right order, can suddenly be the best way to describe your life.
He did his signature ghazals.... Hoshwalon ko khabar kya,Tera chehra, Tum ko dekha tto yeh khayal aaya, Ahista Ahista and I could go on and on and on.
Rang bhi dekha, roop bhi dekha,
rasta, manjil, sahil, mahfil, koi nahi hai aisa,
tera saath hai aisa,
Meri akho ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekh kar,
Meri akho ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekh kar....
Has to be the bestest of my discoveries last evening. All in all, I was happy. It's kinda sad admitting it, but I was happy after a long long time. Guess music does that to you. Ghazals do that to me.
I hardly ever admit it... that I'm scared. That I'm hurt. That it pains. There's too many people depending on me, or so I let myself believe and I care too much. There's alot of times when I've almost given up and wanted to believe that it really won't ever be all right again, that there really aren't any happy endings and that love is just and abstract noun.
It's also real hard to believe that I'm so blessed. And I don't know what I've done to deserve any of it. I know I haven't, and I guess that's what makes me want to reach out to people, do some good. Make a difference. Justify all this. I dunno how many people realise it, but I do, with every turn life takes, that I'm doubly blessed. And believe you me, some of the stuff that "hurts" seems real trivial when compared to the stuff other people are subjected to for a large part of their lives. I guess, it makes me in different on one level... But, I dunno.
And it scares the shit out of me. Wondering if such stuff happened to me, what I'd do. If I'm strong enough to deal with it. If.... Ugh. The only place I like if is when it's linked to Rudyard Kipling.
Anyway, things are almost right on this side of the world. All thanks to an awesome evening. Mwah. I could kiss the damn computer screen. Oh and the template change, is to mark the begining of a new season of hope. And promises. And... well, me. And you.
I don't believe this. I feel like those bubbles of champagne. It tickles.
Lotsaluv,
Yours forever sthupitly.
P.S: If I didn't make any sense back there, you can sleep peacefully, knowing that I'm back to normal.
P.P.S: If I did make sense back there, well, God help you.
Foru letters for you:
I NV U...
Did you record it? (Please answer "yes" to the question, I am hoping fervently...)
Here's my fav lines...
Chand bhi dekha,
Phool bhi dekha.
Badal, Bijli, Titli, Jugnu,
Koi nahi hai aisa,
Tera husn hai jaisa.
Meri nigah ne yeh kaisa khwab dekha hai,
Zameen pe chalta hua mahtab dekha hai.
Meri ankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekh kar.
Kis ka chehra ab mein dekhu, tera chehra dekh kar
Gulzar and Jagjeet..
Aah!! Bliss!
*dream* *dream* *wake*
Well, back to work...
Aah the same ghazal I quoted. Niace.
I envy myself too!!
Oh and by the by do you by any chance have the ghazal? The cd I had it on it screwed up.
Have a great day!
Yours forever sthupitly.
there's a warmth in feeling good after a horrible time.
am glad you felt what you did
oh and about your comment: you say you write shameful stuff eh? wait till i tell you how much your posts pierce through (shit..i just told you :P)
take care sthupit girl
@nav: I guess there is. But i always feel guilty, usually. This time, it was just hope.
Bubbles, well, bubbling.
They do that? Wo no. I bleed for you :)
Lotsaluv,
Yours forever sthupitly.
bani said...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!jagjit singh. the man of ghazals..i really loved his concert. speaciallly the musical solo's and the music fight thing they had. it rocked
i love his ghazals and speacially that line "tera husn hai jaisa" brilliant..the way he sings it makes it better.
why don't you admit the fact that your hurt?
i can't say more..and even if i do its not like your gna listen to what i am gna say or anyone is gna say. you don't even listen to what your own heart or brain has to say.
PS: the snow makes the padge very slow and also kinda tuf to read..either decrease the size or take it off
PSS: i am sorry if i din't make sense up there
Nonsense woman. I'm bleddy embarassed. Music fight thing? it's called a jugalbandi you moron.
And bear with the snow, I'm loving it.
love the template and the way u put it....
"Oh and the template change, is to mark the begining of a new season of hope. And promises. And... well, me. And you."
good to see that u r happy.... music used to do that to me all the time... not anymore :d
need to find something different now!!!
have a wonderful day!
Long time you yellow fellow. Thanks for the praise, all I've been hearing about the template is how slow it makes the place and how the other one was better. Sigh.
It's taken a year, for me to be that way again. More than that in fact. A rough estimate? Two years. Eons, eh?
The hope and passion and promises, are not with respect to MY personal life or something... it's what I just feel about life. Specially after the previous post.
Life's tough, but I'm tougher. And like I said, if I lose hope, what happens to you buggers, eh?
Music, did always move me. Slightly. Jagjit, infinitely more. And I still can't believe I WAS TEHRE. It's been all of three days!
Lotsaluv,
Yours forever sthupitly.
P.S: I knw it's tough, coming out and all that, thanks.
aahn the jugalbandhi thing only. it was sssssssssssooooooooooo ggggggggggguddddddddddd.
i am gna go for each and every concert he has in chennai again
U lucky gal. Live in with Jagjit singh. I was dying to go there the last time he came to my place, but couldn't get the invite or the ticket :(
@sis: You, my dear friend, slept twice.
@stier : I can't believe it myself, even now. Hope you have better luck next time.
Yours forever sthupitly.