I never thought I hated anyone. Past tense. Long passed, past.
I do. I hate the fact that I gave you the right to hurt me. I hate the fact that I told you what would hurt me. And you did. You do. And you know it. I hate me for hurting.
I hate that I shared my dreams with you, when all you could do was mock at them. I hate that it made me feel small. I hate that I let me feel small.
I hate that you made me feel like a looser, at times. That when you said it, even in anger, I let it pierce through, and hurt.
I hate you for making me cry myself to sleep every night, when you didn't shed a tear. I hate me, for being weak.
I hate you, 'cuz I can't ask you to fuck off, get lost, the way you did to me. I won't do it. I hate that I can't. Won't. 'Cuz I'm weak.
I hate you for taking me for granted. I hate me for letting you know, realise, that I'd really be there, no matter what. And you did that "what". I stayed.
I hate you for not understanding me. For never taking the effort to read in between the lines. I hate me, for expecting you to.
I hate you for knowing, and still doing it. I hate you for turning out just like another "somebody". I hate me for expecting it. Almost wanting it after a point, so that we could get it out of the way. 'Cuz more than knowing it was hurting me, I knew it wasn't good for you.
I hate that you don't realise, understand, comprehend, what I did for you... I don't want a nobel prize, but I wanted you to at least acknowledge it. I hate me for expecting something in return. Because then, that's not true friendship.
I hate you, 'cuz when I ruined myself just so your worst fears wouldn't realise, you made mine come true. I hate that now i'm left to pick the even more shattered, scattered pieces, alone... while you aren't. And don't give a damn.
Fooled ya, didn't I? Hell I f***ing fooled myself. Had to say it aloud. To accept it.
I don't know if it's really HATE, hate... I don't feel anger, towards anyone but myself. I just feel... sad at times, you know? Feel like bawling my eyes out... Crazy.. you hate something like that to? Or is it just me?
aawww u need a big hug gal *hug* neways yea i guess u sorta "hate" yourself more than whoever that guy/girl/it is.. anyways i guess i can empathise here so no worries. i ll leave u with great words from great philosophers.
timon n pumba : "hakuna matata". it means no worries.. for the rest o ur days.. its a problem free ... ph ilosophy.. :D
peaceloveempathy
,\m/
Sthupit loves that philosophy too. Sthupit follows it always. Sthupit just had a weak moment, 'cuz lightning struck sthupit... and sthupit thought, what's better than just saying it out like the voices in sthupit s head were saying it.
Sthupit has a question though... you don't hate anyone like that? Hatred that makes you sad instead of angry?
Thanks for dropping by,
Yours forever sthupitly.
ur not alone in this "hate" world
i've felt like tht a million times.
times were u feel d person whom u trusted d most has left u down....
even after havin so many ppl around....u feel like u have none
a sense of "loss"...
wen u feel u've done so much for dem .....but got none back in return
@anon: point is... you shouldn't be expecting anything in return. And i'd rather I WAS alone.
Thanks for dropping by, and hope things get better!
*Hugs*
Yours forever sthupitly.
sad post :| New year is just around the corner... go for it...! Wishing you bundles of surprises this 2k7. No more hatred!
And you hate brinjals? b-r-i-n-j-a-l-s? I love them!
Hey, I got the Rise and Fall song. Thanks!
Life is calling girl! Where the hell are you?
ur in that "mood" again :| will return later.. and by the time u read this i think ill have updated my blog (at long last)
oye!!!
wow.. i dont know if i'm glad or sad that you followed me...!!!
but ya.. sometimes saying it aloud makes one feel so much better..
:-)
Gaaaah!!
Mood-swings!! At the time of the New-year!! Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-d!!
Ok, quick, follow these three steps:
1. Dunk your head in a bowl of ice-cold water.
2. Move immediately to a vat of boiling oil and dunk your feet in it.
3. Repeat one and two until your eyelashes are properly frizzled.
And oh yes, the spelling should be 'lose' and not 'loose'. Another thing:
WAKE UP!!
Cheers!
Shrikant Joshi a.k.a BS
ahh,everyone feels crappy and frustrated with the planet as a whole,or just about someone sometimes....and nope,i doubt its hate.Just a deep rooted need for every human being ( however merry ) to let off a little steam.Although,If there is a person in question,I do pity that person too ;)
and oh yeah.Do the Hakuna Matata thing.I believe it has worked for a lot of people :)
What does 'grind my gears' is how people seem to feel cartoons are immature.I think they're the most mature films on television :)
@ co^th : Oh you'll get a terrific post by then, don't worry. And life is always a calling, I just like switching my phone of sometimes.
@Ry : Lol. My "moods" seem to be getting around... Updated? Wow, that's new. I thought you'd deleted that word from your inbox. *left right left effect. xcooze*
@anna : lol. I almost hate you for it... na.. It was like cheating myself. And, even though it sounds sthupit, people who bisit here... Like lying or something. definitely makes you feel better, though.
@ BS: Pah. Jezus. It's just a post. Now, I can't even hate and write at my own choice. Hmph.
*embarrassed smile*
P. S : lol. Nice pointers. I'll be sure to remind you of them when the time comes.
@abhishek: I don't pity the people in concern. I shouldn't be "hating" in the first place. It's against everything I stand for. Stood for.. but, I dunno. Whatever.
Yeah! Hakuna matata works. Love the way it sounds too.
Thanks for bisiting you guys, lotsaluv,
Yours forever sthupitly.
@
yeah well u do feel that at times i have felt it quite a coupla times but the whole pointlessness of such a thing frustrates me u know? i mean whats the whole point of hating sum1 and ending up hating ur self for wtv u had wit that sum1 right?. so since it didnt make any sense.. i try to ignore any if any of those.. :P tkae cares. ps. i m back in msia.. omfg it feels soo good!!!
okay...so i am late and am being philosohpical (yes..yes...yet again)
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
take care and a have a happy new year
@*some nonsense* m *some nonsense*: for once i have to agree!!
@ Nav : And as usual, it's exactly what it is. The last line just about sums all of it up. Where'd you pick it up from? Or is it one of yours?
Thanks for dropping by!! Lotsaluv, always,
Yours forever sthupitly.
you gotta get yourself a copy of 'the prophet' by khalil gibran...though i must warn you of profound realisations that'll have nodding at just about every sentence even ending in depression and lack of enthusiasm.
-nav
Fear, Anger, and Hate are the path to the dark side.
Be a Jedi Knight, not a Sith Lord.
Koze
*Hugs*
Yes, this kinda "hate" does make me sad, but also angry. And I tend to concentrate on the angry because I don't want to cry all the time with the sadness.
And yes, I hate brinjals too.
Chrue.
It's better to get angry... no one wants to mop around all the time.
Am not surprised, lemme tell you that... after knowing you for a year and a half ( at least) our similarities, have stopped baffling me :)
Thanks for dropping by,
Yours forever sthupitly.
:)) That's hilarious. Even down to hating brinjals? I didn't expect this extent of similarity!
Well we've got it !!
:)
Yours forever sthupitly.