Wondering if he is the man for you or not? If you’re a man or a woman? If your in love or not? Are you questioning yourself? Want to understand yourself better?
Well, not anymore. Here's a list of questions that have been carefully framed the study the human psyche better.
Instructions: Get a paper and pencil. Switch off cell phones. No chewing gum. And no calculators allowed. There are no correct answers!!
1) A man can expect to reach out into the refrigerator for milk when…
a. The cat is hungry.
b. It’s starting to get sour? Just the way you like it.
c. The toast is too dry.
d. ESP.
2) Where do you read the newspaper?
a. In bed.
b. In the toilet. Like da.
c. On red signals while driving.
d. Breakfast table.
3) Which side of the bed do you take?
a. The one that faces Mecca.
b. The “other” side.
c. The one that speaks to me.
d. North east in the day time and south west at night.
4) What does the word relationship represent to you?
a. Hot and sexy dates. Every night. Till you stay for breakfast one day. And then you move on.
b. Love, respect and admiration for the other person. Something that is based on trust and faith. c. A symbiotic relationship. Full freedom. Mutual satisfaction.
d. Huh?
5) You’re in the park, sitting on the bench… having just finished your walk, when you see a kid fall down and start howling. What do you do?
a. Dote on him with love and kisses and affection until he forgets how to deal with injuries.
b. Pick him up and make him stand on his feet, and give him a whack for being such a sissy.
c. Find the kids parents and ask to represent them after suggesting they sue the park authorities.
d. Increase the volume of your i-pod.
6) What would you name your German shepherd?
a. Noodle.
b. King Kong.
c. Doggie-po.
d. Bananahammock.
7) Your fairy tale would take place in -
a. In the land I rule. There'd be no hunger and starvation and only good people. (you get the idea)
b. Paris!
c. Take the last left on the street I live on, go straight down till you reach the barbers shop, take the right opposite it and the immediate left. Go straight down till you reach a dead end. You see that dark corner? That's where my dog does his business every day.
d. An enchanted land.
8) What does the line “candle in the wind” mean to you?
a. Someone is trying to light a candle in the wind.
b. It represents a person s vulnerability. The wind represents the relationship the person is in.
c. There’s a candle in the wind.
d. I think the person was a genius. It refers to the science experiment which was started by Hargobind Khorana. The aim of this exercise was to find out if each person in the country would light a candle on the day of the World Cup, the chances of India winning are way higher than if they just sit in front of the television and watch. The follow up of this experiment is what we see today as the “Jup for the Cup.”
9) Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
a. *embarrassed look* Aww shucks.
b. Totally.
c. Shameful. I decline this question.
d. No comments.
10) Why does a toast always fall buttered side down?
a. It’s been proven. I have statistics. A group of scientists, buttered different kinds and sizes of toast and let them fall from various heights. Finding – it never lands on it’s edge.
b. Serves you right for buttering both sides.
c. Butter? All those calories? Have you looked at yourself lately!!
d. Fate. Life. Karma. Kismet.
11) Which place would you like to visit?
a. Donkey s fair.
b. Timbuktu.
c. El Colorado.
d. St. Kittis and Nevis.
12) What do you do after making love?
a. Bathe, like da.
b. Get on the phone!!
c. Snore.
d. Blow raspberry s on his/her tummy. Cuddle up and talk.
13) The “Last Supper” refers to:
a. Before Bhagat Singh was to be hung to death, he was given a feast. All the inmates of the jail, saved their food and drinks. This is what we call the last supper.
b. It’s that movie which stars Hugh Grant and that bitch of a woman. Hugh is just so adorable in it though! You must see it.
c. The dinner Joseph and Mary threw as a welcoming party in Bethlehem for the Three Wise Men without a caterer!!
d. Dinner?
14) What is your favorite color?
a. #CC1000
b. #FFF109
c. #C10C00
d. #F90C20
15) What do you do when you’ve been driving around for hours and get lost in a strange city?
a. Stop and ask for directions.
b. Take actual readings of your location with respect to longitude and latitude based on the stars. c. Keep insisting that your fine, and on the right track.
d. Enjoy the city you are in!!
16) “Down Stay” is most commonly used in reference to –
a. Something to do with football?
b. Dogs. It’s a command to keep dogs stationary for long periods of time.
c. Hitler stood in the balcony of the tallest tower in Germany and looked upon his people, and uttered these words for the first time. They later came to be included in the country s national anthem.
d. Francoise Martin was working in the laboratory one morning. In fact, this was the day he was to discover sapionism, and re write the history of mankind. The combination he had was bubbling furiously and threatened to flow out of the burette. Martin uttered these words with a huff and puff as a final measure. And it worked!!
17)When is it the best time to throw away your underwear?
a. Elastic gets loose.
b. Throw? But why!!
c. Every two weeks and ten days.
d. *slap*
18) How many friends do you have on Orkut?
a. 500
b. 104
c. One, ha.
d. None. Whatever.
19) You have two friends A and B. Suddenly, A likes B and after a while B likes A back. When A is upset, he calls you up and asks for advice, but your call keeps getting interrupted because your friend B is on the other line. So you have to alternate between them, trying to solve things. The situation really starts to get on your nerves after a point of time. What do you do?
a. Introduce friend A to friend C and friend B to friend D.
b. Change your phone number.
c. Put them on conference, without them knowing and ensaai.
d. Kill both of them.
20) Your sweetie is-
a. My better half.
b. My better half.
c. My ball and chain.
d. He's half.
Quickly, totally up all those A's, B's, C's and D's.
More A’s – Hmmm. Interesting. The Sahara really was not always a desert. Multiply the number of b's you have with 103, the two most significant numbers indicate your luckiest day of every month. The person in your life is very lucky for you. If you think you want the person to stay in your life forever, take a picture of the Last Supper and super impose it with a picture of the Three Wise Men. Now, host a dinner party, without caterer s and give each person who comes, this superimposed photo as a give away. Also, stick to unflavored condoms and do not buy yourself or your dearest a dog. Keep away from them!
More B’s- Aha. So you're the more-b's type, eh? Let's see... Every few days you might feel like your surrounded by negative vibes, bad air and all that- cut down your potato in take. Also, mow your neighbor s lawn twice a week, kiss their (or any) dog, three times a day for the next one month and get your head shaved in a random style. If the farts still don't stop, go to a doc damnit. To improve your love life, paint your toe nails neon green if your a girl, and if you're a guy do the same and otherwise also, do the same. You might not want to venture into anything that is flavored. In fact, glow in the darks are the best option!
More C's- Stay away from dogs. They hate you. They even have a community on Orkut, beware of them. If you don't really want to live with this for the rest of your life, put a pot on the fire and add the following-
Three strands of genital hair.
3.5/4 cup of Heinz Tomato Ketchup.
2.115/6 cup of your best wine.
A fist full of the apogaiali, picked by you at the foot of the Himalayas.
Your neighbor s underwear- One piece.
Stir till broth comes to a boil. Now take two spoons of this and drink it.
The dogs will love you! You don't seem to have a problem with your love life. Just don't forget, that the minute you start doing in this real world, dropping your clothes off the minute you see a girl is really a turn-on. However, she'll only do everything you say if you have more than 100,000 scraps and at least 554.3 friends on Orkut.
D's, like da- D's are good. Only they symbolise you have a tendency of putting on weight very easily. To avoid this eat a lettuce leaf and the peel of an apple for lunch, three days a week. Streak your hair with the colors of the rainbow and don't wash them for at least a month at a stretch. This will help make your personality more colorful. If you're a guy, start wearing suspenders, they help in the control your lacking on yourself. If you're a female, yoga and meditation are good options. And to ensure that you find the love of your life, don't participate in any type of sexual activity on Mondays and Fridays between 9:01 PM to 10:53 PM. If you can do it and get yourself into a herbal bath by 10:57 PM, your increasing your chances by more than 50%.
Glad to be of help,
All my love.
weird...completely weird...maybe i should wait until someone says this or better still i'll say it and wait for someone to pitch in..
"looks like you're in serious need for a vacation"
No fair!!
SG.
now i know what u do with ALL of that time. your good honey. like damn good.
screw that loser boy.
and oh, about that dog potion, my neighbour doesn't wear underwear, can i use yours? *please*
wierd looks like i have a lotta c's
*Reaches for the hair*....
*retching* lol better off than ur worst post and 100% agreed with navneet XD
Rythwin
@ Bitch: You came!!! Danke. You sure I have one of those things??
@ Ry: Is it ok if I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not??
You guys are just scared to really try is out and see what you get. *Snarl* Where's your sense of humor?! Pah. All busy feeling miserable.
All my love,
SG.
I HAVE PRECISELY, 104 FRIENDS ON ORKUT????
HOW? HOW? HOW?
NOW WAIT FOR A DAY, I'LL GIVE YOU A QUIZ JUST LIKE THIS ONE TO KNOW IF YOUR PSYCHIC.
Whaddya mean "if"?
Darn it woman, your killing me.
All my love,
SG.
Of all the things lass, you had to pick genital hair?
I really should move to another neighbourhood. All my neighbours are elderly menopausal women. And I don't quite fancy having a go at their knickers.
I mean couldn't at least *one* of them have a hot daughter or a niece or a poodle? I'm beginning to think it's a conspiracy against me :|
Whaddya mean "you had to pick"? It's what's written in the stars. It's what the winds are saying. Don't mock at it my dear friend, or you'll have bigger conspiracies than neighbors to deal with.
I can see it very clearly in my crystal. *wags finger* Do what's said however, and you'll be slightly better off.
*snarl*
SG.
yeah like DAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its not known as a fact that your pshycic
Darn right it is, lady.
SG.
*confused look*
Wat the??? Hmmmmmmmmm... Seriously... Vacation time... The bloody plants have got to you! ^^
Pah. When I write serious stuff, I need a vacation. When I write crazy bizzare stuff, I need vacation. When I write funny stuff i need a vacations.
You guys are killing me with choices!!
Hmph.
SG.
See?
I told you, you need a vacation..
Or should that be a vocation?
Bwahahahahaha!! XD
Come on. If this had been a forward, you would hve all sat and worked it out and then groaned over the results.
sniff.
SG.
Ok, that proves it.
You DO need a vacation, dudette..
No kidding.
Hehehe....that quiz was kinda weird buh funny :))
But am just wondering...
"If you’re a man or a woman?"
To find this out...I just hafta look down right, and its okie to not take the test ;)
curiosity killed z0000nie :D
It's the test they make you take and then strip you off your medal 'cuz of the chromosomal pattern your answers show.
Danke. RIP.
'forever sthupitly.
psycho we know, pyschic, we need a test.
nice! you do marriage counselling too? :)
And hey,its waaay too much work.Haven't you got like a summary test? :)
P.S. Off to Noida...
And oh,btw.You could have had an 'All Es' for those who never tried,and said all nice things about this group right?
You still can.I'll keep looking around for that section :)
@ Options
I have the 554.3 friends and the scraps are close enoughhow do i go about getting my neighbours underwear?
and should it be washed or used?
(darn.I managed to make a self-puke joke :| )
You know what will prove to everyone you don't need a vacation? Smileys ;)
looool.... college is really getting to u isnt it ?? :P.. IM BAAACK :).. hope ur doinjg alright coz from the looks of it .. ur just as wacky as usual :)..
@ bani: * What? That didn't get an applause?!!*
@ A: Sure I do. And you lazy bum.
@ A(again): Where's your sense of adventure!
@ A (again again): Pronto. The dirtier the better.
I love reading stuff that has subtle humor and I like the stff i write more when I happen to come anywhere close to meeting the standards I set. Hence, smileys are a no no.
@ Vishal: Hey!! Long time. Finally, someone whose on my side. Hope alls well with you too.
Thanks for dropping by guys,
All my love.
@bani: *applause*
@bani: *voooooooooohhhhoooooooooooo..go bani* *applause* *appluase* *cheers* *people move foward to seek blessings*
There you go sis. The weird creatures who bisit this blog loue you!!
All my love,
SG.
*courtesy**courtesy* thank you for the love and support, all my "louers." I don't know what i would have done with you. I dedicate this award to all my fans out there!
SGS
without i meant ;)
hahahaha this one's also too good!!
U have a gr8 sense of humor!! HATS OFF TO U!!
I actualy sat wid a paper and a pen .. jotting down my a's , b's and c's and d's... hahaahaa
nice one!!
keep it up
LOL
still laughing!!
@ sis: blah.
@ Ira: Thank you!! So, which one was it? a, b,c or d?
Thanks for dropping by you guys,
All my love.
hahaha
it was mostly D's..
but it was fun doing it...
haha
post more blogs like this one...
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
D's, eh?
Interesting.
*Strokes beard*
*Chuckles*
All my love.