I realized only today that Quest for Thought turned 5 this June. It's sad that the year has almost come to an end, and even though so much has happened, I haven't made enough time to write. Five years! Half a decade. I've been able to define myself not only through my writing, but in the writing of others. To everyone who takes the time out to visit, and comment, and care- thank you.

Jayashree, you're my biggest find in this blogging world. Your writing is amazing, and I can only hope that you keep giving me things to read.

Navneet, I've found in you the brightest of minds and kindest of hearts (and correct grammar, and someone who can cut short my sentences). I can't wait to see the Nobel in your hands.

Koze, you're the reason I started writing, and you probably have a few people who can't wait to murder you for that. I love your writing, and you! A million thank yous for everything.

Anna, Adi, Abhishek, Ry- I wish you'd write more!

All my love.

After four years of blogging, some form of appreciation. Sure, it had to be wheedled out. Still, eeeek! I got a blog award.

Awarded by
astrodominie to Sthupit Girl

This post is going to be super shot. One, fathers have this way of waking their daughters up that mothers can just never do. Mornings suddenly become bearable, even Monday mornings. And even though you'll never read this, thank you dad.

Two, for the third time in one month, I've gone for CAT class only to sneak right out and back home. It's not like I don't get enough opportunity to travel by MTC, which by the way is a post long due, that T.I.M.E. is doing me a favor by giving out wrong schedules and/or rescheduling without notice.

Three, I just realized I've written fifteen mock cats already. Fifteen. That's five more than ten and five less than twenty. Which would mean there's exactly five Sundays before the D-Day.

Four, we grow up hearing about how great the Ratan Tatas and the Mittals of India are. I've read about their lives, and I read about them every time I pick up a newspapers. A new factory here, a take over there. But it's only after hearing the press conference Mr. Tata had regarding the Singur issue, did he become "real" to me. It was in that moment that I knew that I liked his dignity, and I was left inspired by his passion.

Five, I thought I was the most peculiar person in my family. Or at least one with the most peculiar peculiarities. Turns out, my sistar is slowly inching her way to first place. So- she robs dad of a an absolutely new notebook. Lies down beside me on the bed and starts flipping its pages. After a whole entire minute, her actions have my complete attention. She continues to touch each page with reverence before going to the next. She continues to touch each blank page with reverence before going to the next.

And now I must run. Have a super fun long weekend,

SG.

P.S. Dad just let me drive the car first time after the puja (yes, me the punjabi did the not-punjabi ayudha puja). Finally a sign of good things to come.

So, I spent most of this evening freaking out. Not because of lack of planning. But because of not paying attention to detail.

I opened the Stanford website- only to find out that they do NOT look for work experience as a prerequisite for admissions to the MBA course. So, I freaked out. I SHOULD have known about this. I shouldave known this so that I could have written my GMAT and TOFEL exams and applied this year.

I still can, but I don't like how rushed things will become if I do decide to do so. So, I'm not. If things don't work out here and now, then we'll make Stanford happy. But just in case there's smarter people who've already written the required exams- Harvard, Stanford & Michigan- take freshers.

On other news- let us all stand up and clap hands to wish Navneet a very happy budday. May he always have money to buy hair dye, the latest in spectacles and hearing aid and of course, dentures. Wishing you all things that are good.

On other other news, because I spent the evening I'd planned to spend studying, freaking out instead- my schedules gone for a toss. So, I'm going to stop bugging you and go and try and do something about it.

The absolutely brilliant news is- Monday is over!!

SG.

• I started writing, only to realize I was rambling, as usual. So I need to edit that post before I put it up.



• People surprise me every day. Not all of the surprises are good. A friend of mine saw a muslim guy, a student, walking towards us in college and promptly said, " I'm scared. Doesn't he look scary? What's with the beard and all? "
  

  People, educated people, can be extremely illiterate in their views.

  
  I could have strangled her. Is this how education helps? Is this what "jehad" is supposed to accomplish?



• There's some words that I just love. They don't mean "great" things or anything. I just love the drama around them or the way they sound. Like "flummoxed" and "umbrage".



• Redefining deep sleep- you don't hear your cell phone beep.



• Another not so pleasant surprise was when in college, again, the people I was sitting with commented on why this particular girl was even wearing a "dupatta"- it wasn't covering what is was supposed to.
  
  It made me sad.



• FUBAR is an absolutely brill word I found out.



• I like black and white as much as I love color.



• I found my first white hair. And I've kept it safe. Proof of my wisdomousness.



• Making "blockquotes" or pullquotes as they are sometimes called and customizing them to suit your style is really easy. They look nice and people ALWAYS read them. Will put up a post regarding them soon.



• I think the look of ones blog is very important.

  What would make me want to read your blog?

  A first time visitor either reads ahead of doesn't based on very few basic things- name of the blog and the tag line, aesthetics and the title of the post. The length of the post comes a quick fourth.
  
  Sure, for them purists, writing is all that matters. But if you really want people to read what you've written, you have to create an atmosphere that will encourage them to do so.

Me is done. Hope you guys are enjoying the day off. I certainly am, given the fact that my nasal passage has cleared and I've fought my way into being allowed to bathe. Too much detail, I know :D

Oh and by the by, the title has nothing to do with my love for bananas or lack of it. It's a song by Jack Johnson. One I'd recommend.

All my love!

*Has been edited. Please forgive lapse of judgment.

A test that I'd already flunked in once and fever that makes me actually breathe out fire and congestion and cold are not a good combination. Specially when you go blog hopping and find stuff you like and want to do yourself because you are so sad, that people won't tag you to do it. Oh and did I say breathing caused me so much pain- there isn't even a word to describe it!



Anyhow, here are the rules.

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page, pick an image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

1. What is your first name?
********* (there you go)It's official.
2. What is your favorite food? Right now?
Apple pie. Doesn't really count as food, does it?
3. What high school did you go to?
BVM, Madras. Center Point School, Nagpur. Carmel Convent, Mumbai. Though I guess BVM counts as high school in every sense.
4. What is your favorite color?
Red. I love colors, full stop. Red holds a prominent place though.
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
George Clooney all the way. Muah. Can't believe I just said that. Oh wait, I have fever. So it's ok.
6. Favorite drink?
Lemonade. Not exotic, but me loves.
7. Dream vacation?
To travel everywhere. Five star plus of course. This ones Brooklyn Bridge though.
8. Favorite dessert?
Gooey chocolate cake please.
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Carefree. And uninhibited.
10. What do you love most in life?
Happiness & Laughter.
11. One Word to describe you.
Guarded [I liked this pic better than the one I found for "shy" ]
12. Your Flickr name.
SG. Big surprises there.

I'm tagging everyone who happens to come by. Leave me a comment when you do this pleej.

Happy Monday!

SG.

Credits for the awesome pics- 1. 0000400291.jpg, 2. apple pie, 3. bala vidya mandir, 4. rojo sobre negro (mosaico) / red on black (mosaic), 5. 5-hour-phone-conversation, 6. .relax & have some fresh squeezed legonade., 7. Brooklyn, 8. Day137 - gorgeous gooey chocolate cake slice, 9. The chase, 10. at least it started out with laughter, 11. gaurded with color, 12. sg.wang plaza@malaysia

This is what I end up doing when I REALLY REALLY have to study.

From the moment we get up to the time our heads hit the pillow at night- we ask ourselves questions. Some questions we're too scared to ask. We know the answers to others, and ask them anyway- because we need to hear the words. The thing we don't realize is, is that when the answers are different from the ones we expect, even the ones with good answers, THAT is the moment that brings us happiness.

Right.

Way too much thought into that. I wish I could put it better, but I'm feeling too much levity.

Reason?

If one must pin point, then I'd have to say, it was a trip back to school that's brought a smile on this face. Funny thing though, it wasn't one that included friends and sitting in my old classroom and just being kids again. Ok, so you can take off the "again" in that sentence, but you get the idea.

This one was just me. Involved judging (third time in a row). It's amazing to see how people still remember you. I'm so proud of my sister. Because more than just being remembered for me, I think I'm remembered because of her for me.

It was so funny. I was in the classroom where the competition was taking place (the one that I had to judge) just fooling around the my sis and her friends and this kid from the back of the class looks at me and signals asking who the judges were and when they would come!!

I got to school early and so went and sat in the auditorium with some of my sister's other friends who were compering for the event that was going on. This guy, also an ex student of some other school, around my age, went onto stage to announce the winners of the event he had being called to judge and he says, "Before I announce the results, I've got only one thing to say - KALANJALI ROCKS". And you will not believe, but it was like I was back at school, an organizer myself, because you wouldn't have found me sitting all prim and proper clapping my hands at this comment- I was right THERE with the others yelling and cheering.

Everyone started cheering when my bio was being read! When I had to go up on stage to announce the results of the event I had come for, and told them current BVMites how they had outdone themselves this year, there was even more cheering. And the judges of the event that we had to disturb to make these announcements sat with puzzled faces wondering who this new celebrity was. Only to find out that the cheering was because I was one an ex student, and two because I was a sister.

I realize how "old" I've become only on occasions like these, when I go back to school, and I'm NOT in my school uniform. Thankfully, my teachers still look on me as "not old" and don't "thank me for taking out time to come back to school" with the mementos, and in fact admonish me for not coming unless invited! The mementos in haven't changed in the three years that I've been out, and I have three cups with "BVM" on them, to prove just that :D

I wish everyone had been there with me. It would have made for an even more perfect memory!! There will be other times, I tell myself. There will be other times.

Hope your day was as good as mine,

All my love.

-------------------
Singing-

I´m gonna organize some changes in my life
I´m going to exorcise the demons of my past
I´m gonna take your car and hit the open road
I´m feeling levity just open up and go

I just feel like I can do anything
But all my life I´ve wished to be
I´m going to decide just what I wanna be
Make my wildest dreams come true

There's something in the wind that tells me that this year not a day (other than yesterday and today) will go silent. Uneventful would be more accurate when speaking of days, because days really can't go silent, unless you're the type who thinks that days can talk- then they can go by in silence.

This month, or what's left of it- I'm going to be shifting houses again, which ordinarily is super fun. Only this time, it's right in between my final exams. Once that is done, I have my placements starting- for which I need to start studying. I know how much Microsoft and Yahoo want me, but we all need to keep our images.

THAT done, I have my guitar exam scheduled for. After which, I have CAT to write. In between all of that I have final year project work which needs to be flagged off- and I'm like the only person in my team who is going to have to do everything, plus I'm the only person in my team who is going to have to do everything.

*breathe*

It's going to be ALOT, but who doesn't like to be busy? Specially when at the end of it all the person concerned is going to be placed at Microsoft, get calls from all the IIM's, and Microsoft not wanting to lose the person will offer to pay for the person's MBA, and the person is going to pass with merit in her guitar exam and is going to ( going to, going to, going to!) get through college.

Facebook is so addictive. There's like a million things to do. Even if you're too lazy to do all million of them, it's super fun browsing through just what they can do. People however, don't utilize whatever security such sites do offer. And maintaining privacy is very very very important. I'm not being a paranoid freak when I say this- but really really don't just trust anyone who sends you a friend request. And even if you must, there's ways of making really personal details not available to everyone you add. For example, with the photographs thingy- there's means of blocking certain people from seeing your pics, even people on your friend list. Point is, don't be foolish. Socialize, but don't be foolish.

I've also realized and I must digress, if digressing is what this is called, that the Internet (facebook in particular) is so for people who don't have a social life. I'm totally one of them, and those of you who are saying Pshaw, she doesn't know what she's talking about- I always know what I'm talking about.

It's awesome when people you left behind over 7 years ago, remember you. I've been "keeping up with them" because my best friends are still there, where I left the ones who I haven't been in touch with still remember me. But it's a supah feeling when you realize that they didn't forget you after all.

Oh and happy nu year! Mine was super happy- considering sis and me spent all our drives on that day singing songs on the top of our voices. It was like old times again. Sigh. We've growing up. And in like a year, we're going to be in different parts of the country all together! You're a pain the arse, but me loves you.

Oh and I won that Really Tough Movie Quiz of TV!! Yeah baby. I never ever win. I think the last time I ever won something before this was Rs.30 in tambola a couple of years ago. But I so totally won this time. I now pronounce you chuck and larry- 500 bucks worth dvd. Too bad my home theatre needs to go for service, but I won baby.

Oh and while we're doing the "baby" thing, guess who can play Stairway to Heaven on the guitar! Sure, it's not as good as my sisters, and needs a lil bit of tweaking, but stairway to heaven baby.

I'm going to stop now, before I go and trip over myself. Don't worry, be happy!

All my love.

People can be so cunning and cruel. No, it's not something that has just sunk in. It's just been reinforced. Sigh.

Exam time is back- and I am so not in a mood to study!!! Which is not good. Considering I've not been doing much during the semester either. And best part is, I'm not really bothered. What will be, will be, will be.

I just love the new (not very new, but pretty new) Raymond ad- It has the aaj kal tere mere pyar ke charche song in it. There's not much to it, but I love it anyway. Somehow, that's what I've always pictured relationships to be like- a lil bit of surprise, a lil bit of romance, a lot of humor. Plus, the song is super.

Nothing much else, hope things are looking up on your side.

All my love.

I don't like it when my friends make new friends. Who are better than me. And can give them things that I presently can't, for reasons that are absolutely real. At least to me.

I don't.

I don't.

I DO NOT.

Damn. I've tried so hard to put all this into words, but it's just not happening. And it's killing me, not to.

It's there -you know, all the feelings all the emotions, I know what they are, but they just refuse to get translated into anything but the abstract.

There you go! Now you know, I really suck at writing. It was all a farce. Laugh. You win.

Smile.

Give me that smile, to remember you by.

Come on, let it out.

Smile, you, you you.. Smile.

There's a good boy/girl, come on my pumpkin pie, smile.

You know you want to... Aah, I can see it trying to get out.. smile.

You filthy sonovabitch, smile.

Smile, you dog, smile, dammit.

Greetings.

A lot has been going on. And it will go on and on. And on. So, me thought, why not stop, look around and appreciate :) So, let's join hands and... kidding. This whole "blocking" by the government to deal with people using blogs as a means to convey distasteful information, according to me, is Okie. Meaning... I don't think it's effective and i also don't see why there is such a big fuss. Yeah, I can't see some pics on my blog and all right now... but then, hell, your talking about national security. I'd also like to point out here *ahem clears throat* that with freedom comes responsibilty. Responsibilty to express your thoughts and whatever but also to not cause harm to others who might not or might agree with you. So, all this freedom of expression is mumbo jumbo. However, I'd like to have my blog back.

I went for a play the other day. I've been out every evening since last friday!! It's a record for someone like me.... all this travelling to college and my trip around the country that i've done in two months, usually gives me a craving for my night t-shirts and my books and music in my room. But keeping busy is the key right now :) The play was done by the theatre society of my school.

Seeing these little kiddos go up there and trying their damnest possible to keep you falling off your chair with laughter... made me feel older than usual :) It was amazing... I mean, there was a time when these very same brats reached my waist.. and now they tower over me and have the capacity to keep me glued for two hours!! They got The Pied Piper of Hamelin to India, Chennai to be exact....was bi lingual.

Oh!! And guess what? I finally managed to gather up courage and go ask my HOD if I could start a newsletter in college... and guess what he said??!! YeS!!! yay for me. hehahahhaha.. So, that gives me work to do. Wish me luck. But I'm thinking with Kaushik on my side, I'll do good. But still... wish me loads of luck.

Me is going to stop, before I blabble on and on and on and on and on. Just wanted to write. Loads of love and hugs with the hope that you had a lovely day,

Yours forever sthupitly.

Scavengers. Vultures. Looking for blood.. and enjoying every tiny drop. That's what you guys are... One can practically feel the zing in the air when they read that comment page. The one on the last post.


@aytida:
- friends are ahem.. SUPPOSE to be there for each other. Knock knock. Poor guy. 6 stitches!! And all you can do is complain? Shame on you mistar.
-A key cut you? Sure, dogs mew, blogs bite, mangos mang and mom, No,sthupit girl bites, doesn't go with what I'm trying to say. Or does it?
-your cribbing about staying alone at home??? Remember how much fun I had washing clothes because my washing machine gave up on me when I was home alone?? And now it's your turn!! Aren't we lucky?
-*hugs*

@Ry:
- can't sleep because of your gaming. Well there you go.. now we know where the problem is, and you've admitted to it so that's half the battle won now we just have to win the rest. Here's me 5 pointers to gauranteed sleep.
1. Do NOT, absolutely do NOT try counting sheep. It only awakens the thinker in you.. are the sheep black? white? with spots? what color is the fence? My dear friend, it ain't all that easy.. na huh.
2. Try opening up one of those huge massive bound things we're made to carry to school. They work like *snap of finger* that.
3. Tape. Tape is good. Tape your eyes close. After a time the colors get tired of swirling around you, and then it becomes black. And your too tired to think of all the stuff that darkness implies, because you've exercised yourself while trying to follow the swirly swirls.
4. Watch Fanaa. Again. And aga... ha! there your're already yawning!
5. Read this blog. Ha, that's my personal favorite.

Or how about this one? Switch off the comp, and the lights.. and SLEEP!!

- headaches. Now I wonder where they come from. Considering your always in front of the comp gaming. Hmmm... let me think this one through.. i'll get back to you.
- kill yourself. Hmmm... Ahh... hmmmmm... ooh... hmmmmmm.. you see how the number of m's increases? Cool or what??! Why would you want to kill yourself? Give me a good reason and then we'll see if it's worth it or not.

And believe it or not, you've been the kindest to me when it comes to those words with 'A'. *hugs*.

@Stinger:

Anti-social (in the positive sense of the word):
1. unwilling or unable to associate in a normal or friendly way with other people: He's not antisocial, just shy.
2. antagonistic, hostile, or unfriendly toward others; menacing; threatening: an antisocial act.
3. opposed or detrimental to social order or the principles on which society is constituted: antisocial behavior.
4. Psychiatry. of or pertaining to a pattern of behavior in which social norms and the rights of others are persistently violated.

Did someone say POSITIVE??!!

The rest of you guys are the only reason I'm still alive and writing. I know, damn your kind souls... but at least you got the "Good deed of the day" out of the way and now you have to bear with me. Only.

It's forever been my dream to do those Agony Aunt columns. I'm serious. Since I love observing people and listening... I don't know where that thought was going. Anyway, if any of you have anything you want to talk about or anything like that, I'm there. And so are the other people who visit this blog...

I also figured that I keep trying to hide the real me. Except, probably when I'm writing. I'm almost always diplomatically correct and almost never talk about myself. I've always wanted to be one of those people who could... be you know, confident enough about themselves to let people around them actually see what they think or feel. So, I'm going to try. You know.. say things like I think them.

Phew. It was hard enough making that promise. I hope I can keep it. Oh and guys? Thankus.

Lotsa hugs.

There seems to be an all time lull in Blogsoville today. And it's been the same way, all week long. People seem to have lost the drive to share their stories of late. I wonder why.

I cooked dinner the other day!! I made chinese. It's the best comfort food in the world. And I made lemon cookies for dessert. They were awesome, if I may say so myself.

Yes, everyone is still very much alive. No, no one had to be rushed to the emergency. And no, I am not making all this up. No, there is no need to wait and watch. All members of the family have been under strict observation for the last three days, which is when they ate my preperations. There have been no signs of illness whatsoever.

So you see... Don't stop believing in miracles. Mark that up as lesson of the day.

The cookies were delicious. I made one batch real crisp, dada likes it that way, and I made the other batch in such a way that they were still a little soft on the inside. They melt, the minute they touch your mouth. And the taste of lemon was so prominent!! Heaven.

I've been working on a few lanterns for my room lately. Nothing great, just paper and paint and bulbs. I'll put up a pic when they're done. My room is turning out to have a little gypsy character... And I just love that.

If you lose that mystery, that tiny bit in you that believes in magic, then my dear friend, you need to get yourself a life. And NOW is as good a time as it gets... specially when your starting to believe in miracles already :)

And before the gloom that shadows the writer of this post falls over the reader of this post, I'm going to stop. If you've had a bad day, deal the details out here and lets see how Captain Cookie can help save your day. And that's that from this tiny town of Blogsoville.

... Oh and help me out here... Think of words with the letter 'A' that describe me. Thankus.

lotsaluv.

I was just thinking... Last night, I suddenly, just wanted to talk to someone. It was past eleven. And I had to keep looking into my memory, for a person I could call up at such an hour, and not be worried.

Three people called. I was up till one something... and guess what? I still hadn't found out who I could call and... and well, just talk to. Half the people I know would have been talking to their respective "better halves", the other half would either have been talking to their fiances or sleeping or would have been dialing my number to cry their hearts out. Okie, that didn't come out well.. I'm not trying to take Cruella's place.

So, who do you call? When you just want to talk.... As in, you probably have nothing to talk about speciafically, but you just want company..?

Anyway, miserable things aside.. I have ONE more exam and then I am done!! hehehahahahahaha... And then there's english and then there's two and a half months of freedom...hehhahahahaha... You know, I just noticed, I do too much of this evil laugh these days... Cruella? Who me?

Anyhow, me not go anything to say for now *ahem*... Proper post, after my exams. People start looking old during these days... nothing to do. Just sit and stare at a book. Once in a while, you might even want to flip the page :) You guys have a great day! Lotsaluv.

Yours forever sthupitly.

Oh right. Sure, people just luuvvvvvvvvrrreeeeeeeee me. Just go to any of the previous posts ka comments section and you'll know how true that one is :( or better still... check out the message leaving thing in the sidebar.. someone please remind me why it is there??



sniff.

sob.

sniff sniff.

The scoundrels just want to make you feel better.. but they try too hard.. having a bad day?? You can take the quiz here!

I got really bugged of seeing those prim and proper ladies... that just aint me.. and so we're sticking to black. Plain and simble. With a few modifications. And lots of ishtyle.

And if I have time to sit and modify and make backgrounds it obviously means that... my eckjams are going on!!!

Eckjams are what are stopping this country from further growth.

First you waste paper. For printing question papers and then we waste paper, by just trying to fill up sheets, with stuff neither you've ever read or are going to ever read.

*hugs*

sob.
sniff.

sniff.

...Let's observe two minutes ka silence. For the trees that have given up their lives. That have been MADE to give up their lives. Life isn't fair. It's cruel.

*silence*

We make scientists and nobel laureates squirm in their graves.

Second of all... you're wasting valuable time. The time which figures in "time and tide wait for none". It's such a damn waste of time. Waste time at lectures, because of attendance. Waste time pretending to study for these exams. Waste time preparing question papers, with questions that show how little teachers know about the subject. Waste time writing these exams.

Phew. That's alot of waste. It's ALOT ALOT of waste.

Sheesh.. what will this world come to??

I just came across these lines while watching a program on great battles... and it impressed me, which is why im putting it here so u can read it and ...leemme say, enjoy the beauty...

Oh burry me by the cassino,

For my duty to England is done,

And when you sit by the Blighty,

Drinking your whisky and rum,

Remember the old indian soldier,

For the war has finally been won.

If u guys have come across something.. do mention it in ur comments.. Each day we hear something, read something... that afffects you... this is my thought for the day... Ok OK im rambling...