Memory, is defined by the webster's dictonary as the mental capacity or faculty of retaining and reviving facts, events, impressions, etc. This gives rise to the word memories... 'Seemed like a very technical and harsh way of defining the word.

Why?

'cuz when someone asks me what my most favorite memories are... what comes to mind has nothing to do with revival of facts like 1947 being the year India got independence or something equally mundane. In fact, what comes to mind is along the lines of...

Something as mischievous like...making a teacher cry, not 'cuz of my answer sheet but 'cuz we pelted her with chalk pieces in class.. or letting her sit on a chair covered with ink or having a "mud cake" fight... or using the school's paint reserve, not on the required model or stage, but on US!!

Something as touching..like the time I made a fool out of myself in front of my first crush and the elation I felt when I found he liked me too. My first love, my first breakup..

Family get togethers.. playing pranks on the guests...being grounded for them later, too.

Getting together with friends and creating a mayhem... throwing popcorn on couples in the theatre.. singing on the top of our voices, in the middle of the road... meeting up for coffee.. confessions... sitting on the beach till 10 in the night, before an exam :)

Or the time I slapped guy for the first time... aah! The satisfaction... Something as easy as surprising friends on their birthdays and something as crazy as skipping classes, approaching strangers... Something as simple as calling friends, who've had to move away, just to say hi..

... There's a whole lot of memories. Some pleasant and others harsh. Yet, all equally important. The many many lasts and the many many firsts... and the many many in betweens too..They play a really big role in making a person. And many a time, breaking a person.

What's your most favorite memory?

I was sitting in my car waiting for my parents, who were buying fresh vegetables and fruits, to come back. My sis was busy fooling around with my phone.

Suddenly, this guy dressed in a lungi, came out of nowhere and stood at attention near my window. He then lifted his hand to salute to me. And asked me for money.

Under normal circumstances a hungry kid or a handicapped person manages to get money out of me, by doing absolutely nothing. I'm a sucker for people in distress.

Anyway, the soldier didn't appear to be handicapped or in need of clothes or food. So, on my sister's advice I tried to ignore looking at him. It's all in the eyes, like Ruskin Bond says. The minute I look into those puppy dog soulful eyes, I'm a goner. My sis is more resistant and smart that way.

Ignore,we did.

While this soldier went on trying to get our attention. From the corner of my eye I could see he had loads to tell. And no one to listen to. A guy walking past, laughed and mocked at this guy. I was still trying to muster up the courage to "ignore" in the truest sense. When I asked my sis if we could just give him a buck she very maturely warned me about the fact that the guy looked healthy and in no dire state. I demurely nodded and continued working on my ignoring skills.

And then all of a sudden, when I felt the absence of vigorous hand movements, I looked up and saw him. He had tears in his eyes. He nodded sadly at me, waved his hands indicating that he didn't want me to give him anything, and started to walk away. And that's when I felt my world shift.

That was it. I searched my wallet for some change, and was going to give it to him, when my sister stopped me by telling me it wasn't SAFE. I turned and watched him limp his way to another person who had more sense than me and gave him some change.

Hand or no hand. Sister or no sister. Safe or not safe. I took a five rupee coin and walked up to him and gave it to him.

You know what he did?

He smiled.

I made the soldier smile. I made a lonely soldier smile. And soldier he was/is. What I learnt today? Not for the first time.. I guess I'd forgotten... That everyone needs someone to talk to. And most of all, the elderly. I mean, what exactly would I have lost if I had just given him a warm smile and handed over some change? I did make the man cry by NOT doing it. He'd said so much. And yet, nothing. Because he was dumb.

... I don't know. I guess it might sound lame to you. I don't know why I'm telling you this. I just had to. But for obviously some simple reason, my world was back on track. My sis and me were both smiling. And all was right in the world.

That's it for me... lv ya!

...the fading strings of A.R.Rehman's waande mataram woke me up to the fact that today, the 15th of January, was the 57th Army day.

I switched on the television in search of some channel that was showing the celeberations of the day... and as usual I came across an NDTV exclusive ( I know, I know... damn the channel ;) ).

This was a special episode that managed to revive my faith in humanity. For some reason, obviously as dumb as me, I felt a swell of pride at being an Indian. At being the grand daughter, niece and great grand daughter of brigadiers, captains and colonels alike.

Families on both side of the border suffered loss because of the wars fought between the two countries. Most soldiers who died during these wars were listed Missing, by either side. And this left behind wives, mothers and sisters still living in hope that maybe one day, their loved ones would walk back, alive.

Today, I saw an army officer, who survived the war, make an effort to seek out the family of a Pakistani soldier who died in his arms, and to inform them of his brave demise. The news was bound to bring grief and an end to the hope that the family lived on... but it also filled them with pride to learn that their son/husband/father died because of a bullet in his chest, not his back. That he died in the line of duty, and died a brave soldier.

Similarly, a father, also a retd army officer, was told of the brave end of his son in the line of fire, by a Pakistani officer who survived the war. He proudly told the father of how his son single handedly stopped the advance of 13 tanks even after being severely hurt.

...it mustave brought grief, no doubt about it.. but then it's an army thing, I can tell from experience... that families accept deaths of their soldiers with great pride and honor. It mustave made the families proud to learn that their sons died fighting for their country.

"You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race," says George Bernard Shaw... and how very true...

Bravery doesn't come to all of us. And when it does, it doesn't come easy. And there are millions of people on either side of the border who've given up their lives in the name of their country. In the name of land. Let alone dying, they live under horrible conditions; no facilities, lack of food, clothing... and on top of that they are payed meagre wages. Where on one side, war is a question of upholding honor it is also the fastest and cruelest ways of tackling the population problem. On a more serious note.. I think this initiative by NDTV and the army officers concerned is superb. Because bravery doesn't have borders. And families need to know....they just do.

I absolutely promised myself to not question myself about why wars even need to be fought and why people must die (again)...and I'm going to stick to it. So, this post is only to salute these soldiers who have fought fearlessly, without giving a thought about their own lives, to make mine more secure. To families who have, with even more bravery, (??) borne the loss of these soldiers with pride. And a prayer that there need be no more wars at all in the future. That families across the globe need never have to suffer such loss again.

To all soldiers and their families, I bow down.

P.S: written on sunday, the 15th of January 2005..hence, the "today"

L'OREAL's new : MEN EXPERT- HYDRA ENEERGETIC ANTI FATIGUE MOISTURISING LOTION Hydra Energetic Lotion

It combats tired skin. It recharges the skin with energy for revived, fresh and healthy looking skin. Contains Vitmain C which also helps reinforce the skin's natural resistance.


Please correct me if I'm wrong, but did I just hear... a cream that helps reduce fatigue?? ..and I'm Miss. India!!

I can't believe people actually fall for all this cosmetic nonsense. But
then, I guess they really do... 'cuz companies that market these products are still functioning. I mean if you can fall for a cream that is supposed to be made of milk, almonds, olive oil, orange extracts and whatnot then what's so big about a fairness cream or a anti-fatigue cream??

..Talking about nonsense.. here's another one:::


Himani Sona Chandi Chyawanprash – With Gold, Silver and Saffron: A unique formulation based on years of research by Himani Ayurvedic Resarch Foundation.

Which brings me to where I started,

.......Wha... Whhat??

My latest English prof thinks we are in 9th grade.

We read ONE page, i.e.,precisely around 150 lines. And to be even more precise, he reads, we snore.

Imagine sitting in college lecture, and hearing your prof read out every line, no less than two times, for 2 hours.

What's better..?? He wanted us to tell him the difference between a bull and a bullock. Since we were all busy sleeping, he answered this question, like all those before and after this, by himself.

"A bullock is a castrated bull."

"That is...they castrate a bull and then it is called a bullock.."

I've already mentioned that he thinks of us as 9th grade students. So, obviously we don't know the meaning of "castrated".

"So, a bull after castration is called a bullock.."

..say it one more time and you'll be the one pulling carts with full attention

"So, a bullock is a castrated bull. They have to..umm..casterate the bull so as to make it more meek and docile. Otherwise it keeps running off to have sex all the time."

Now he has our attention. A prof had used the three letter s word. He must have realised what he'd said so with and embarassed laugh he further goes on to explain,

"So you all know what castration is, do you not? Most of you come from villages, you must have seen it. We all know what it is, but can't say it..."

Another nervous laugh follows..

"They castrate the bull before they use them to pull carts. So, that they don't have excessive urges."

..that's the 12th time he's tried to explain what casteration is.. and he's killing me..so..

..To my neighbors I annonce, "They slice of the bull's damn balls to make him docile, meek and less prone to obsessive sexual urges so that it can concentrate solely on pulling the cart. Now get over it, will ya?"

Question of the day: What's the diff between a man and a bull?? :)

This is by Gregory David Roberts. Tell me what you make of it... that's it from me for now, lv ya guys!

"Why fear, when you have the world at your feet??"












....that shud say all that there is to.. lotsaluv!

I don't know what this post is about.

I really really really don't.

Most people, expect me to know everything. Specially since I'm all grown up now. Eighteen. That's a pretty big number.

But I really really really don't know.

One minute I want to believe that the world is made of all good people. And that there's goodness in every heart. I stop to give a beggar a penny. I see a kid help an old lady cross the road. I see a guy getting out of his car, in the middle of the road, and picking up and putting a puppy on the footpath. I hum to myself. I see a person kicking a beggars bowl and scattering all his money. I hear ambulances screaming to the site of an accident caused by a drunk driver. I see a son dropping off his parents at an old age home. And the next you're proven wrong.

One minute you want to believe in love. You see it all around you. I see a couple, aged 60, walking hand in hand. I see a guy help clean ice-cream off his girlfriends nose. I see someone buying a huge bouquet of red roses. I hum to myself. I see a couple breaking up. I see my friend cry because her boy friend was blackmailing her. I see parents fighting. And the next, you get your heartbroken.

One minute I think that everything will be good. That no matter how hard times get there's going to be a happy ending. I give the little girl tugging at my skirt, a penny. I see someone get up and offer a seat to an elderly person, who was standing, in the bus. I see a handicapped person smile and enjoy his ice-cream on one leg. I see a person on a wheelchair hum to the latest "right here, right now", and I feel a smile creep on. I see people hug eachother. I see tears in the eyes of those saying goodbye. I hum to myself. I see a person swear at a guy on a wheel chair, for stopping in the middle of the road. I see people bashing eachother up. I see a kid being tortured by some other rich kids. I see the longing and terror in eyes. And I start to question how everything will ever be good again?

I understand that life is about change. It's about happiness and joy. It's about hurt and healing. It's about contradictions. And that's what this post proves. But I wonder... if every person were to do something so as to make the bad non-existant would the meaning of life change? Will there be no good without bad to compare it with? Will there be no pain? Will there be no person who needs/wants to shed tears?