aloha sthupit boys, girls, men and ladies and kiddos too.

It's been another sthupit day in the sthupit world in the sthupit life of yours truly.

Oh and for all those who read my previous post, thank you for reading it, but I was trying to edit that post, and I lost it. My apologies to those who weren't able to read it. I promise to make up for the torture to you.

I washed clothes today!! Aah the bliss... it's been ages since I had to do this. My parents aren't here and I just (ahem( happened to get back from college early. My washing machine gave up on me. I even kicked the damn thing, but it refused to start. So, I had to wash 'em myself. Right now I'm drenched wet.. from head to toe, literarily. It was awesome.

And for the first time in 4 days, I wasn't thinking..!! I was so busy playing around with water and soap, I didn't give a second thought to my thoughts. I didn't think!! The itching on my hand due to the soap also helped. Not to forget, an aching back. And my hands feel awfully good. Hahaha...!! They're pink and wrinkled and hurting. And so C-L-E-A-N.

Hope you guys had a lovely day!
Lotsaluv,

sthupit girl

I wasn't looking while I walked my usual walk to college today. I was looking, but I wasn't looking down or up or sideways or the opposite sideways. I was looking into my book. Programming and Data Structures. Had an exam, that's why.

So, when somebody stepped on my chappal from behind, it was a wake up call from the world surrounding me. "Good morning", the world said. "Aah.. there you go. THAT's a gift for you from us." My chappal broke. Thanks to the weight that stamped on it from behind.. with love and best wishes from the world surrounding me. My gift.

And I'm not one to be ungrateful. Exam or no exam. It was a gift after all.

So, down went the book, into my bag. Up came the chappals, into my hand. And off we went... walking chappal in hand, into the sunrise. Into college, I mean. I went to the hostel to leave my chappals, there. And off we went again... book in hand, into college. Barefoot.

Wrote my exam, barefoot. Bunked class and whiled away time there, barefoot. Walked around.. sat around.. barefoot. Went for lab, came back from lab.. walked the college.. Barefoot.

It was a sthupit day. My sthupit chappal tore. It was a sthupit gift from the sthupit world, and so I couldn't be rude. So, I was sthupit back to it and walked around barefoot. Over stones and scorching roads... it felt sthupitly nice. You know.. like torture? Good torture. Now, they are red from beneath. And hurting. And burning. But, it's nice. Is the only proof that I'm alive.

Got them fixed up after college.. couldn't afford to travel all the way home barefoot. Or that's where everyone decided they'd had enough of my sthupidity. So, with chappals back on my feet... I got back home.

...did u get any gifts?

Lotsaluv and hugs,
sthupit me.

Today was superb... Paper got cancelled.. :) Damn this world by the by... with great difficultly and resolve I decided to start studying for these exams, yesterday. And by the time I had dug whatever books I had, and cleaned the dust off them... I got a message, informing me, that I had no exam today! Pah.

I recently came across this article on heaven and hell and wanted to ask you guys what you thought about this. Do you believe in life after death? Heaven and hell? Where do you go after death? Or is death the end...?

If you believe in afterlife then... According to the dictionary: Heaven is an afterlife concept found in many religions or spiritual philosophies.Those who believe in heaven generally hold that it (or hell) is the afterlife destination of many or all humans. In unusual instances, humans have had, according to many testimonies and traditions, personal knowledge of Heaven. They presume this is for the purpose of teaching the rest of humanity about life, Heaven, and God.

Various religions have various versions of heaven, but primararily it's the place where one unites with God and everything is pure and everyone is happy. To a layman it's the place where you have wings and harps playing music... you know, sitting on the clouds with halos on your head??

According to Hinduism, Heaven is a stop between one life and another. Where one rests before he/she takes another form, man or animal or anything depending on ones karma(deeds, good and bad), and comes back to Earth. People of this religion strive to achieve Nirvana or Moksha... that is, freedom from this cycle of birth and death and rebirth.

Christianity on the other hand professes Heaven to be a second Garden of Eden. Any person who sincerely has faith in Christ and asks for God's forgiveness will automatically be granted forgiveness for their sins and has the assurance of going to Heaven. Heaven is an especially interesting doctrine in Christian thought, which has the resurrection of the body dominating the concept of afterlife.

According to the Quran Heaven is described by the following lines..
"The parable of the Garden which the righteous are promised! Beneath it flow rivers. Perpetual is the fruits thereof and the shade therein. Such is the End of the Righteous; and the end of the unbelievers is the Fire, wherein a person dwells forever"

The highest level of heaven is Firdaws, which is where the prophets, the martyrs and the most truthful and pious people will dwell. It is said that a martyr is rewarded by sex with 72 virgins. Much controversy exists on the "number" mentioned. A scholar clarifies, that the number was never mean to be taken literarily but as an indication of a surfeit of this kind of delight.

And so it goes on... a thousand religions and a thousand different heavens... To some it's dancing around trees in the rain in transparent saris and bell bottomed pants and to others it's brownies served with ice-cream. While some look for people whose horns support the halo others don't believe in it and call it mumbo jumbo.

So... what's your personal choice of heaven?? Other than, of course, visiting this place :) Ok. Put those stones down. I take back my words... Now, let's have it... What's heaven to you.. Be as obnoxious as you want ;)

I miss you most when I'm happy. The first time I came across this line, it made no sense to me. As in, at first glance, it seems... well.. unsual. You usually miss someone when you're lonely. Or want to cry. Or in a crisis.

Now, read it again. I miss you most when I'm happy.

I read it the second time.. and felt a smile form on my lips. I miss you most when I'm happy. What can mean more than that? To miss someone when you're happy... Those are the people you really love, the ones you want to share every laughter with.

I don't know why I'm posting this... but every time I think of this particular line, it feels good. And true. I just wanted to share it with you guys... after all, that's what I do. Share every smile with you...

Hope you had a lovely day...Lotsaluv and may God bless!
yours truly.

I won't ever see her again. I won't ever sit with her and hear her talk of her dreams for me. I won't ever hear her chant hymns in the morning... or talk fondly of her memories of my childhood. I won't ever get to eat her parathas...

I used to complain of her over protectiveness. I used to smile and reassure her, everytime she got worried 'cuz I hadn't gotten home on time.

And now she's going to be gone. I loved having my grandma at home. She kept my dad in check :) We'd all indulgently listen to her relate the same incident a million times.

But, I've seen the way her eyes used to light up everytime the phone rang. I've heard the hope in her voice everytime she wanted to know who'd been on the phone. And then, I'd seen the light fade away... when she realised it wasn't for her. It wasn't one of her children calling to talk to her... to ask for her. About her. It happened all the time.

And then for some insane reason my grandparents decided my parents had done their duty, and it was another childs turn to take care of them. Duty, my ass. The only reason they were with us was because we all loved having them around. It so turns out, not everyone thinks this way.

I have never seen, I could never imagine... my parents becoming a burden. I could never imagine throwing them away in one corner of the house, because they were becoming a nuisance. It shames me and angers me. How can you do such a thing?

They're your parents for heavensake. Tomorrow, you're going to be in the same position. And don't give me that bull about "I'm never going to be a burden on my kids." Nobody wants to be a burden. They don't do it and love every minute of it. It's the worst feeling in the world... feeling helpless. And instead of helping them through dealing with this new feeling.. you crib.

How can you crib about having to do something for them? Is that what they did when you kept them up with your howling when you were 2 months old? Is that what they did when you thought you'd seen a monster in your cupboard? When you'd hurt yourself.. when you were down with fever... broken a leg.. had a broken heart? Is that what they did??

They bought you everything you ever needed... and you thanked them by never saying "thank you". They provided you with the best education... and you thanked them by leaving home. They bought you your first car, and you thanked them by driving it drunk. They bought you and your wife a new home and you thanked them by kicking them out. They baby-sat your kids and you thanked them by yelling and shouting at them.

Well, I have news for you mister. They didn't do all this and more because it was their DUTY. They did it because they loved you. And all you can do for them, is... You know, I'd rather you did nothing, than do stuff grudgingly. I'd rather you never told them how much you loved them, than keep reminding them of how much you were giving up, just for their sake.

How can you crib, when no matter what you do or say, they'll always wish the best for you... They're going to be gone one day... they're going to be gone for good. And their last thoughts would only be of regret for not having done better by you. Of having failed you somewhere.

Old age is called second childhood. Please don't give me that pathetic line.. that "old people are a burden". Yes, I've seen the nasty versions of old people too. Learn to forgive. Learn patience. But please don't ill treat your own parents. Don't treat them well, because it's your duty. Treat them well, and with respect, because you love them. I'm not preaching Kaushik. I'm begging.

And what's the best part?... they won't think wrong of YOU. They'll think they've gone wrong somewhere... can you live with that for the rest of your life?

What a day, eh? The sun is out, the birds are singing.. and the bees are trying to have sex with them.. as is my understanding..


Hope you guys had an awesome day!

I can't believe THAT was my 100th post!!

Which is why I've posted another post (;)) . Thanks for all the support guys. I was just trying to narrow down my most favorite posts.. and i've come up with a mighty long list. Thanks for making every post special. For those interested and crazy enough to risk it.. there's a list in the sidebar.. feel free to read and comment!!

Thanking all of you once again for all your love and support.. I couldn't have done it without you guys...

Lotsaluv and may God bless!

Ok I'm here and I'm writing. There's no one to talk to. And I really need to talk to someone, or I'm going to go crazy. Talk about what? I have no idea..

Ha so much for using the words never ever. Don't ever use these words. Life always tries to prove you wrong.

I was the good girl. Who could do nothing wrong. Who would never disappoint anyone. Who would rather hurt herself than someone else.

I did do wrong. I did disappoint. I did hurt others. Too many people. I wronged the people I loved. I wronged myself.

And then life was going amazingly well again.It was safe. I wasn't hurting anyone. Everyone was happy. Going on with their lives... loving because they could, laughing because they could and wanted to, crying because they were hurting and then healing because they wanted to live again.

I don't want to love, because I don't think I can.

I don't want to throw back my head and laugh, really laugh, because if I laugh.. it means it's time for the bad times to start. And end to the bad times.

I don't want to cry. I've cried enough. It leads you nowhere. Unless you count the shop down the road, to buy a fresh pack of tissues.

I don't want to heal. Because that means.. that means having to go through everything all over again.

I want to laugh. Laugh without a care in the world.

I want to be able to love again... love without hurting people around me.

I want to go somewhere. I want to cry. Really cry. Get it done with. To know that I can feel.

I want to heal. I want to be whole again. I want to live again. I want to let myself go.

But how to? How to do so without hurting people? Without...

I know.. I know.. twice in a week.. But I just HAD to. I'm going to start putting this up every week.. :) Enjoy!

"We are getting over populated in one area"...hmmm... NAICE.

"At one spot of time humans itself can't survive" ...ah. The spot. Yes, of course.

"Current age people are less healthy than more age people"...shameful, ain't it?

"At that particular time of moment"... Why am I glad I wasn't present at that time of moment??

"Consider this particular thing..ok..ok..apply this to it, ok? Now..so.. ok.. what will happen is.. so.. ok... this thing.. ok.. this thing is being applied with to this particular thing.. ok? Any doubts?".. No, siry. No way. I'm ALL CLEAR.

"Substances which causes you the pollution are called pollutants"..umm.. great!

"Major destroyment of the air is being doing by the human being." Shoot the dogs! They're causing destroyment ya.

"Your smell is also one odor" .. oh damn! It's that obvious??

"The gas is flowing.." Yes, yes. The water is blowing too.

"Certain invisible products are produced in the result to see"... lemme see.. hey!! she means we can see the invisible! yay!!

"What kind of disease is getting affected on the human being?".. how about forgetting-english-itis?

"Proper procedural sequence of actions"...I don't know why, but I was lost by the time she finished this sentence.

"Age of your category don't use helmets.." Huh???

"Gets entered into this part.."yeah? Oh. Aaha.

"Suspend yourself from coming to class" ...Rules like these are meant to be followed.

That's it from me today... Hope you had a lovely day! Lotsaluv.

My friend and I were discussing this, and I wanted to know what you guys had to say about it.

I cannot lie. I mean, yes of course I can if I really wanted to. But then, I just don't. Why? Because I really do believe, after seeing people, that one day, you'll get caught. And then you'll be in tripple trouble.

I also have a very sharp conscience. I guess it's just something I picked up along the way. From looking at people.

My ma always told me the easiest way to find out if what you're doing is right or wrong is this: If you're hiding and doing something, it's wrong. Simple as that. To a person like me, who can't decide what her favorite color is, this is a lifeline.

I don't blindly follow it. I really do believe it.

Lying complicates life. I like it simple. I mean seriously... ain't there enough complications without you adding to them?

Why this topic came up?

Boyfriends. Is it worth it to lie to your parents just to go out with a guy?

"There's a very simple and short answer to that",says my friend. Logic: I mean I'd rather not lie. But then, what's the point? If I do tell them, they will never be OK with it. I mean there's this whole generation gap. So, why hurt them and ME? This way neither of us gets hurt. And I can go out with the guy I love.

I just want to know if you think it's worth it?

Worth it to waste time and energy and cash to spend time with a guy, who is 90% going to dump you along the way. And it's not even the fact that he MIGHT dump you...it's the fact that you'd lie to your parents for this guy?

Is he that important? Do you really believe what you're doing is right? Do you really believe it's worth losing your parents trust?

In at least 7/10 cases they guy ends up either blackmailing you or talking shit about you to his friends. To your friends.

In 9/10 cases the girl ends up hating herself for giving up so much of herself, emotionally and physically, to this guy.

Is it worth it?? Is it really?

They might seem like real kiddish questions to some. I mean I see my friends, very cooly "omitting" certain details, getting cash out on vague pretences... it's small stuff. But at the end of the day it's a lie.

I find people in 8th standard "going out" and doing all hanky panky stuff. 8th standard???!!! It's become a fashion trend now.. the whole lying to your parents. Going out with a guy...

I really do want to know... how do you manage to look at yourself in the mirror, every morning? Don't you feel guilt. Or does the whole "generation gap" excuse seem reason enough to not be ashamed of yourself?

What's on your mind??

I was going through this note book of mine when I noticed some bulbs drawn... When I took the time to read these highlighted lines, I just had to put them up here. These aren't MAJOR errors. Just a few slips of the tongue.. Some made by some very very intelligent profs of mine.. Enjoy!!

"Land cannot perform cultivation" bravo!!

"Not causing any use"..As opposed to?

"Human rate is increasing day by day" ...jeez thanks for clearing that one out!

"I am going to suicide myself." Oh please don't sweetie..

"It is going to produce you something" How will I ever thank you??

"Humans are building buildings." I wonder what's wrong with this one?

"No more human generation will take place." WHAT?? why?? HOW?? They can't do such a thing!!

"Do you have a group family attitude?" You don't have it dude... how about joint family attitude?? no?? Ushlesh.

"What type of consumers do they consume?" I really do wonder... it's been keeping me up for nights..

"It can be a flora or a fauna." Oh yeah???!! Well, there you go..!!

"It is a question mark of whether the human being will survive or not." What? No exclaimation mark?

"We have both kinds of two deserts." Is that like saying, "I have two daughters, both are girls?"

"A slope is called a slope because it is sloping." Eureka!!

"The angle between two perpendicular lines is 90 degrees." And the Noble Prize goes to..??

"That's how long I've been doing IT" Mistar, I hate to break this to you.. but I really don't wanna know what 'IT' you've been doing.

"The rate of change is changing along this part." Am I glad!!

"It is not an easy joke." Oh dear! What a shame.

You look at the question and you think ,"How do I do here is.." eeerr.. errr...

And what comes to mind is :

Lives of great men all remind us,
We can make our lives sublime,
And departing, leave behind us,
Footprints on the sands of time.

You're doing an awesome job without even trying!! Keep it up :) Lotsaluv!

No. Nope. No way. No.

Can you use those words and mean them? I, for one, can't. I absolutely hate saying no. It's one the few things in life, I can actually hate.

I hate saying no when people ask me for something I can give. Problem is at times its something I'd love to give, but can't and at times it's something I don't want to give, but it's what the other person wants. Needs.

How do you say no without sounding rude and horrible? And mean. And like you really don't not care?

How do you explain that by saying No, you don't mean you don't want to give? But you can't give? How do you explain that in some cases its vice versa.

How do I expect someone to believe that I'm not just making excuses.. but I really can't..?

I know it's been ages since I've posted. Alot has happened. And there's so much going on inside this lil brain of mine, I don't know where to start. So, I'm just going to let things be. It's what I ask everyone else in my situation to do. Stop thinking. What will be, will be. Na.. I'm not contradicting myself. It's well.. either you understand what I'm saying or you don't :)

A lot of times.. one just needs this person who can help steady you. Help you to keep from falling. By not doing anything more that being there for you and listening to you without being judgemental. You know who you are, thank you.

And to everyone else who has taken the trouble to visit... life's precious baba. Each day has a lot many firsts... enjoy them. Each day has a lot many surprises and cute moments... savor them. At the end of the day remember that you are needed and loved... and like Keating says it,

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat, but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed...

I hope you still feel small when you stand by the ocean,
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance... I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear the mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance,
Living might mean taking chances..
But they're worth taking.
Lovin' might be a mistake...
But it's worth making.
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to selling out.. Reconsider,
Give the heaven's above, more than just a passing glance..
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance... I hope you dance.

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door opens, I hope one more opens,
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance..

I hope you dance.
I hope you dance.

Wishing you guys all the love in life! May God bless..